Winter Storm? More like, FLURRIES

Welp.  My dream almost happened.  The greater Chicagoland area is currently under a Winter Storm Warning.  Call me stupid but in my 36 years of living in the Midwest (where it typically snows in the winter), a winter storm translates as a significant amount of snowfall.  "A possibility of 1-4 inches" does not come close to a storm of snow.

Moving on.  It's Wednesday which means its Katie Price's Boobs Day (thats the title of Wednesday posts moving forward) which means lets talk about makeup!  

I've been enlisting the help of friends to compile content for certain topics for the Jennie Show.  Below are a few faves from my friend Lauren, who is the most effortless beauty; always looking amaze.  Hair bangin'.  Eyes bangin'.  Bitch be bangin'.

Smashbox Photo Finish Foundation Primer - Pore Minimizing

Leaving skin feeling smooth, shine free and ready for makeup, this primer controls shine for up to 8 hours.  Also sweat and humidity resistant, this bad boy boasts itself as the perfect start to any makeup routine.

Anastasia Clear Brow Gel

If you pay any attention to your brows, which everyone should, Anastasia is your go-to for all things eyebrow related.  I have NEVER heard (or read) of any lover of products not be satisfied with the Anastasia line.  This clear brow gel has the staying power of a hardcore hairspray-- no hair will come out place.  Ideal for setting a naturally full brow, this gel can also go on top of brow product to hold everything in place.

Rosebud Perfume Co's Rosebud Salve

Also now in a tube, this beauty must-have is well, a must have.  A cure for whatever ails you, this cult classic soothes everything from chapped lips to dry cuticles.  I have used Rosebud salve to calm flyaway hairs, cracking skin on my hands and even for my kids' dry elbows.  A winter staple!

I have just made the executive decision to make this entry into a two-parter.  Stay tuned to tomorrow's post for more of Lauren's faves, as well as some of mine.  

--Jennie

rehydrate

I'm always thinking about how little things in life make living so much greater.  Chap stick, sports bras, sunscreen, toothbrushes, a comfy pair of shoes, a warm bed are a few on my list of  life's little gems.  Another big one?  WATER.  Yeah, a little H20 goes a long way with me.

I have never experienced not being able to grab a glass, turn on the sink, fill that receptacle to the brim, and down that sucker.  Its so simple and mindless for millions of people in America to think of water as a luxury.

For those that live under a rock, Flint, MI has been under intense scrutiny since April of 2014. 

"The city of Flint changed its water source from treated Detroit Water and Sewerage Department water (which was sourced from Lake Huron as well as the Detroit River) to the Flint River (which Flint officials failed to apply corrosion control treatment to).  Since this change, its drinking water has had a series of problems that culminated with lead contamination, creating a serious public health danger."

"Four government officials—one from the City of Flint, two from the Michigan Department of Environmental Quality, and one from theEnvironmental Protection Agency—resigned over the mishandling of the crisis, and one additional MDEQ staff member was fired and another has a termination hearing pending. Governor Snyder issued an apology to citizens and promised to fix the problem, and later sent $28 million to Flint for supplies, medical care and infrastructure upgrades."

Good one Michigan.  There you go again acting like a shithead.  Though I hail from America's High Five, I'm consistently disappointed with how we make it into the national news.  It's never for good stuff-- unless you consider Ellen Degeneres donating money to a Detroit public school that was so desperately in need of moneys.  Despite this whirlwind of negative media attention, I still got you boo.  Love you Mitten.

The moral to my water ballad?  I'm content with said government officials' resignation amidst Flint's water crisis.  I'm even happier with Governor Snyder's monetary help.  Its a low down shame that this crap had to happen under a person's watch.  The parties responsible should be ashamed of themselves.

Thirsty anyone?

Let's air that shit out.  Its Monday which means its time for the airing of the grievances. Funny enough, I don't have anything to air today.  Weird?  Yes.  I know.  Save the sarcasm.

The only thing really worth mentioning is our good friend Farrah..... always doing ignorant things to make it into my blog. #sneakysneaky I'm beginning to think Farrah considers me before words come out of her mouth.  Truth.

When is this chic going to get it?  I mean really get it.  Farrah's mom obviously thinks she is changing the world, which she is..... by putting her name on porn shit and parenting books.  Perf.  Love the branding ideas.

Just in case you do a double take, I may be in a fitness magazine like, tomorrow, because I started walking my dog at 5 every morning.  Seriously though, dawn is the only time of day I'm not working in an office or being a mom.  

I joined Beachbody On Demand so I could do workouts (via my laptop) in my basement.  So, if there is bad weather or some other reason I can't get outside in the morning, it'll be me and my sports bra in the basement gettin' our sweat on.

Rose of Sharon

Fridays are dedicated to strong women.  I will be writing about women I know and those I don't, and how they demonstrate power and perseverance.  Because this is my first shot at it and I happen to have a close friend who exemplifies all things awesome, today's blog will be for my homegirl *Sharon.

*names have been changed to protect identity

Sharon's childhood was what I call typical; parents married for a gabillion years, middle class, large Catholic family.  Having several siblings, Sharon learned the tangled web that bigger families weave, yet at the end of the day, they loved one another to the moon and back.

She left her hometown of Pittsburgh and headed to the rolling hills of Bloomington, IN for college.  It was at IU where she met her future husband Brian.  Life went on its merry way, Brian and Sharon married and had four beautiful babies.  They had the American Dream.  

Out of what appeared nowhere, and with so much to lose, Brian decided to have an extra marital affair, causing all but a semblance of perfection in his wake.  Devastated by Brian's choice (and a huge lack of consequence), Sharon did her best to try and piece things back together.  

Brian claimed that the affair was over and agreed to therapy.  Unfortunately, the affair wasn't over..... and he lied about it, though they were in the throws of counseling.

Long story short, divorce was imminent.  The dust settled, house sold and so began "mom's weekend with the kids" and "dad's weekend with the kids."

Throughout the entire process of the family breaking apart, Sharon remained graceful, never alluding to how hurt or angry she was with her ex-husband.  The kids never knew the real reason the divorce happened until they were teenagers; Sharon didn't want them to hate their dad.

 Sharon is strong for many reasons.  Sharon holds her head up high because she knows she could've soiled Brian's name all over town, but didn't.  Sharon is strong because she raises her kids with discipline and care and to be accountable.  Sharon is strong because she is out there in the big scary dating world.  Sharon is strong because she cries when sad and angry and knows that its completely acceptable.  Sharon is strong because she hasn't keyed Brian's car.  Sharon is strong because the other woman is still with Brian and accompanies him to the kids sporting events and Sharon doesn't punch her in the face.

Happiness Is Shared

Having a bad day?  Hate your job?  Sick of yucky winter weather?  Several studies have found that owning a pet (in this case a dog) not only enhance mood but also helps reduce stress.

1. Playing with your pup increases your brain’s levels of dopamine and serotonin, both of which are neurotransmitters associated with pleasure and tranquility.
2. Studies show that talking to and petting your pooches are often accompanied by lower blood pressure, and that means a lowered risk for a myriad of different illnesses.
3. Dogs protect children from skin conditions and allergies.
4. Having a dog encourages physical activity, which thus enhances endorphins.
5. Households with children and a dog are generally less tense and less stressful.
6. Talking to a dog after a difficult day actually calms heightened nervousness.

We got our dog Kasia five years ago.  She is literally, my saving grace on some days.  

The day we brought Kasia home from the orphanage

Always up for an ear rub, and a pretty decent partner in "catch," Kasia Lokelani Willis is a great companion.  I would love to get her a sibling, but Chris is very against that idea.  

Katie Price's Bosom - Installment 1.0 of Beauty

Katie Price* a.k.a. Jordan is the pap's dream in the UK.  

Originally made famous by reality tv, Katie Price is one of those chameleon-like celebs; changing look, plastic surgery, lots of exes, etc.  Though having 5 children, Price's body is banging.

*Her look is always evolving, and she LOVES makeup, hence why I'm using Katie as my weekly rotation muse for beauty.*

Moving on.  Let's talk products.  On Monday I was Walgreens picking up a prescription and in the clearance section of the cosmetics department, I came across e.l.f. High Definition Under Eye Setting Powder.

For $3 (reg. $6.99), this little gem is for sure a bang for your buck.  Duped for Nars' Light Reflecting Setting Powder ($36), this powdery silk is amazing.  I did my usual morning makeup routine and added the above (after concealer and foundation)-- works like a charm!  Note-- this is best applied in areas where you put concealer: under eyes, sides of nose, between eyebrows and chin.  Then, set rest of face with a light setting powder.

lightest shade = concealer

KHLOE NAILS

Gross

Sorry Khloe.  I hate your pointy acrylic fingernails.  You may see a cool, vampy and sexy finger-lengthening thing however, I see weapons, ear pickers and lots of debris and bacteria trapped underneath.  Whatever happened to pretty, pastel-colored finger nails (of natural length)?

Call me crazy but if my daughter came home with long pointy nails from the nail salon, I'd think she were channeling Cruella DeVille or Morticia.  Just sayin'.  It's not cute.  It's not practical and it's certainly not ideal for functioning any sort of cooking instrument.

2016 Grammys

I am in no way a fashionista.  I think its acceptable to leave the house in sweats and Sorel boots, sans makeup.  I am also not in the spotlight being photographed whilst doing my comings and goings.  Its confusing to me when rag mags post pics of celebs grocery shopping (in sweats and hoodies) and try and shape the picture like the mentioned celeb has a drug problem (based on their outfit).  LOL.  So-- all you famous people out there-- I support your decision to wear whatever you want if you need to make a pitstop at Walgreens for tampons and a gallon of milk.

All that being said-- events such as the Grammys are on another level.  Nationally televised award shows require a certain level of clothing oomph.  Its not clothing-- its statement attire.  For whatever reason, I expect classy and timeless attire from leading ladies.  Oftentimes, my expectations come up short.

Last night's Grammy spectacular threw me quite a bit.  While I totally get the edgy nature of this show, in that its music, I still want elegance and sophistication.  There is a fine line needing to be walked; innovative and avant-garde while still maintaining a piece of "that looks awesome."

Below are a few examples of what I think hit the nail on the head:

Kaley Cuoco

Kaley killed it in this white jumpsuit by Naeem Khan.  Fresh and edgy, Kaley showed just enough skin giving this outfit a perfect amount of sex appeal.  Her hair and makeup didn't take away from this one piece's timeless silhouette.

Bonnie Raitt

The epitome of cool, Bonnie rocked a simple all black suit paired with the perfect amount of sparkle.  Minimal makeup is Bonnie's standby however, her drop earrings amped up the chic shape of her jacket.  Love me some Bonnie.  A true talent.

Vanessa Lachey

I'm loving this dress.  Short, sexy and playful.... Vanessa looked amazeballs in this flashy get up.  Hair back to play up her gorgeous face, Vanessa kept things simple and let the dress talk for itself.

Epic fails of the night (in my opinion):

All of the ladies above have amazing figures (though a bit too skinny for my liking) and chose dresses that were just blah.  Giuliana sucks at getting dressed.  Carrie chose a dress more suitable for the Oscars and Madison looks like she is ready for the junior prom.

Airing Of The Grievances part deux

Holy shit people are stupid.  I do stupid things all the time; my foot and mouth have an intimate relationship.  My filter is somewhat loose, some would say.  I work with a person that is legitamately so ignorant that they make up words/phrases (and not in a funny way):

histographically (perhaps meaning to use the word historically)

urganently (urgent but with more pizzaz)

am-ee-ofa-tee-shiss (meant to say amniocentisis)

My issue with this person, aside from talking all the time and never knowing when to shut up and smelling of stale cigarettes and wearing disgusting cologne, is that I'm fearful that said person talks this way in front of customers...... and thinks it sounds intelligent.  I totally embrace throwing out a 3-pointer for thrills..... but when you're zinger word is made up, its no bueno.

I need more Melissa McCarthy in my life.

http://www.nbc.com/saturday-night-live/video/arlene/n13210

The Lohans (the Low-hans)

Installment 1.0 of Making Dumb People Famous.  My first award goes to the hardest working bunch of idiots in all the land:

You guessed right folks.  The Lohans.  Forgive me Father for I'm about to rant.  

Rehabs, DUIs, sober companions, reality TV, crappy guest spots on crappy tv shows, the list goes on and on for this gaggle of idiots. A prime example of how Hollywood/fame is like heroin; you get a little taste of the dragon and you want it all the time (I learned that from Dr. Drew's Celebrity Rehab, which Michael Lohan was in).

Lindsay needs to hang her shit up, quit smoking, lay off the meth or whatever, and get a reality check.  Oprah, bless her heart, invested some time and money to produce a docuseries about Lindsay's everyday life and her possible comeback as a successful artist.  Oprah got hussled, to put it mildly. 

Up to her usual antics, Lindsey was late for commitments, acted like a diva and was just an all-around vapid bitch.  I'm guessing the problem isn't Lindsay, its her parents and how she was raised to behave in an entitled way, and thinks it ok.  Dina Lohan is a fucking train wreck, too.  At least Michael Lohan (Lindsay's dad) had the sense to go to rehab. 

http://www.oprah.com/own-lindsay/Oprah-to-Lindsay-Lohan-You-Need-to-Cut-the-Bull-Video

If the Lohans are never on national television or in a magazine ever again, I think the world will be just fine.

Love and Kilts

Outlander is a drama series (on Starz) based on the time travel books by author Diana Gabaldon.  This program has everything; romance, drama, wee bits of humor and action.  My sister first recommended the show, because I'm always looking for new tv, and have grown kind of sick of reality crap.  Outlander gives you a huge serving of all the things you need to be satisfied.  Plus, upon conclusion, you are left WANTING the next episode..... and to me, THAT is a good show.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UkjtLJMnAJQ

Season one has wrapped and season two will premiere in April.  I highly suggest tuning in.

I mention Outlander because it all centers around love, and since its Thursday and the first installment of Happiness Is Shared (topics on love and relationships) its perfectly fitting.  Jamie and Claire are the main characters in this series.  From two different worlds, they meet and somehow fall desperately in love with one another.  Faced with significant diversity, their flame remains strong.  

What's in it for you, you ask?  Give one episode of Outlander a try and you will be left with a new found hope that love really does win.

Eye AIDS

I woke up yesterday morning with a swollen, itchy, oozey eye (sorry for the grossness).  Thinking it was an eyelash stuck in my eye causing the irritation, or the recent drywall sanding fest that my husband had in our bedroom over recent weeks, I carried on with my usual morning routine.  By lunch time, my eye was burning, stinging, watery and simply uncomfortable.  I called the Wal-Mart Vision Center by my office and made an appointment to see the eye doctor.

Dr. Kats confirmed what I had been thinking all along.  Bacterial infection.  Good times.  So I now have a script for some eye drops and possibly, relief in a few days.

With all this being said, Dr. Kats also reminded me about the importance of the following things:

1.  Replace mascara every 8 weeks.  Allure Magazine suggests replacing mascara every three months, but DK recommends more frequently.  With allergens in the air, whatever is being blown around from the furnace and contact bacteria from counters, desks, keyboards, cell phones, etc, mascara needs to be changed out to avoid eye grossies.

2.  In the shower, gently wash eyes with a product like the one pictured above.  Over the counter, there are a few that very gently wash the eye area of pollutants, allergens and residual bacterias.  Johnson's Baby Shampoo is another gentle cleanser that can be used for eye washing purposes, too.

3.  If you wear makeup, keep the area which you apply it clean and organized.  Sharpen beauty pencils, keep caps on them, change out makeup sponges and wash brushes accordingly.  With hands touching the face and eyes, its a fiesta for bacteria to be transferred.  Wiping surface with a disinfecting cloth is an easy task.

4.  WASH YOUR HANDS.  Before eating, after using the restroom and after shaking hands with people its ideal to wash your hands with soap and water.

Feces (poop) from people or animals is an important source of germs like Salmonella, E. coli O157, and norovirus that cause diarrhea, and it can spread some respiratory infections like adenovirus and hand-foot-mouth disease. These kinds of germs can get onto hands after people use the toilet or change a diaper, but also in less obvious ways, like after handling raw meats that have invisible amounts of animal poop on them. A single gram of human feces—which is about the weight of a paper clip—can contain one trillion germs 1. Germs can also get onto hands if people touch any object that has germs on it because someone coughed or sneezed on it or was touched by some other contaminated object. When these germs get onto hands and are not washed off, they can be passed from person to person and make people sick.

References

1. Franks AH, Harmsen HJM, Raangs GC, Jansen GJ, Schut F, Welling GW. Variations of bacterial populations in human feces measured by fluorescent in situ hybridization with group-specific 16S rRNA-targeted oligonucleotide probes. Appl Environ Microbiol. 1998;64(9):3336-3345.

A quick beauty wrap-up on the coattails of mascara:  L'Oreal Voluminous Mascara.  If you've never tried it, you need to RUN (not walk) to your local drugstore and buy this.  I have literally tried a million mascaras and none of them even compare to this rich, luxurious and lasting goodie.  

Unlike my children, I have blonde and sparse lashes; long, thick and dark lashes are a figment of my imagination.  With this product, applied with two coats, it literally transforms my non-existent lashes into velvety soft lashes worth batting.  

TRUMP

I'm not going to stay biased on this one.  Donald.  Trump.  #jesustakethewheel  I'm so sick of seeing his face on tv and in social media.  That pouty mouth, guilty-ridden wrinkly face.... his voice.  I might barf.  

I am so frightened if he were to become POTUS.  I understand that he is a successful business man and in many ways, running the US of the A is like running a business.  With that being said, I think he is lacking empathy and in general, a basic comprehension of how a majority of Americans live.

Donald Trump has lived most of his life as a 1%er.  I have a very sneaking suspicion that DT has no idea what it means to live a life shopping at Wal-Mart for clothes, buying a used car, coupons, financial aid for college tuition or never going on a vacation.  I'm wondering how D-Bags can translate this lack of experience into leading a country full of middle to lower income households?  His fucking apartment in NYC is wallpapered in gold.  Like, that's normal.

All of Trump's kids have attended the best schools money can buy, and have been handed senior level positions within his many businesses.  Again, totally normal.  God bless him for being able to afford life's greatest things, and thank you God that his family is healthy.  God speed to him for trying to take a stab at winning the hearts of America, which may be happening as we gear up for the election.

My bleeding Democratic heart might not make it if he gets elected.  I may just send him my Planned Parenthood pin (which is on my work bag) and a LGBT hoodie for good luck.  

The Airing of The Grievances

Today is the first of my weekly Monday installment of The Airing Of The Grievances.  Trying out this new writing format, Mondays will be a dedicated bitch fest; whining and complaining about whatever ails me.  Normally, I have plenty to complain about however, today my bitch tank is kinda low.  Weird.  I'm sure I can muster something up in the next 4 seconds.  Oh.  Wait.  I've got something.

THE COST OF CHILDCARE

Since October I am a full time working mom.  With the cost of insurance out-of-pocket, it currently makes more sense for me to work for insurance than pay privately.  With that being said, daycare costs now are the other huge component.

Stay and home and pay (lets just say) 2000/month in insurance

VS

Work full time (with insurance) and pay 2000/month in childcare

What makes more sense for our family right now is the latter of the two options.  *Also, I'd like to point out that in my research in finding child care for my two kids, you absolutely get what you pay for.  

Chris is a small business owner.  A non-union contractor, Chris doesn't have the option of being apart of a large insurance plan.  I have a bachelor's degree (which actually doesn't mean shit these days) and over 9 years of professional experience in the sales and marketing industry, so it imperative that I have the job that offers full benefits.

*After my job offer came through, I started researching full time care for the kids.  I looked at chain day cares (KinderCare, Kiddie Academy), independent day cares and at home options.  After seeing several and doing my research online (recommendations, word of mouth, referrals, etc), I found a great place.  A bit on the pricier side (compared through my research), Hometown Child Care offered everything we were looking for.

I will also make mention that I saw a few centers and home day cares that were absolutely gross, filthy and disgusting.  My must haves were the following:

CLEAN, STRUCTURED, LICENSED, KEEPING IN DFS LAW/PROTOCOL, RECOMMENDED AND INSURED

You'd be surprised how many child care centers and at-home places don't care about the above.  Just wanting to get paid each week, people will throw up a bunch of smoke and mirrors to make it seem clean and a happy environment for little ones.

So yeah.  Roughly $2000 a month goes to child care.  Its a shame that it's so expensive however, I'd probably pay more if it meant that my sweet magical unicorn babies were being taken care of.

If and when I ever win the Powerball, I'm for sure setting up some kind of non-profit so that parents can AFFORD child care, and still manage to get ahead in life.  If I were a single parent and didn't have the option of Chris' income, I'd be so screwed.  My whole paycheck goes to daycare.

It's Friday I'm in Love

Hello friends.  Happy Friday.  I hope you have something awesome planned for the weekend.  My plans you ask?  Most likely I will be partaking in some sweatpants, laundry folding and vacuuming.... pretty exciting shit.

Because I am so severely ADD and don't have a flux capacitor degree in English, the format of my blog will be changing to keep my thoughts and content fluid.  I struggle with keeping the flow consistent, which makes for crappy posts.  In order to continue writing (because I love it so much), the proposed structure of The Jennie Show will be a weekly rotation of topics:

Monday - Airing Of The Grievances (because its Monday and Mondays usually suck)

Tuesday - Current Events

Wednesday - Katie Price's Boobs (the ever changing trends of beauty)

Thursday - Happiness Is Shared (love and relationships)

Friday - Making Dumb People Famous (media/TV)

Because of yesterday's post pertaining to Paris Hilton's IQ (or lack thereof) and not wanting to double up on Making Dumb People Famous, I'm going to change things up a bit and pretend its Thursday.  Let's open up the floor to relationship chatter.

*names have been changed to protect the innocent*

I have a lovely friend named *Kate.  Kate is not only gorgeous, but smart, witty, charming, a lover of dogs and good food, hilarious and has one hell of a sense of style.  Basically, Kate is a shoe-in for the Wife Zone (see image below)

Kate was recently in a monogamous relationship with *Greg for 6 years, going as far as moving in together.  Thinking that Greg was her unicorn, Kate invested all of herself in him; sharing hopes, dreams and being Greg's #1 cheerleader for his life goals.  Soon after shacking up, Kate fo real (lower tone of voice and pronounce with a super ghetto accent) began to evaluate her future with Greg.  

The things that are paramount to Kate's happiness are similar to most people's-- communication, open dialogue and genuine friendship and partnership.  From what I understand, Greg didnt view Kate's desire to openly communicate as important (amongst other things).

Long story short, one day Kate took a big balls pill, confronted the situation and asked Greg to talk.... like talk talk.  Greg was "busy" and didnt care to embrace the gravity of the situation, so Kate packed her shit and moved out.  That's it.  Peace out Greg.  Bye Felicia.

When Kate gave me the post-game play by play I was at first shocked, but then super proud.  She did the right thing.  Kate followed through with something that would've eventually come to fruition.  Also, Kate would've never been truly happy in that relationship, because children, Greg was not giving her what she needed in return.  Give and take.  Checks and balances.  That's called a partnership.

So Kate is offically on the market and no longer lugging around a big pile of shit; that monkey is off her back.

So in conclusion, if youre confident in the Wife Zone contingent, hauling around a man that's nowhere near your level of awesomeness, dump him (or her).

And that my friends is whats up. 

Do people really read my blogs?  I wonder how they are received?  Have I ever offended anyone..... wait.  I know the answer to that question.  (I don't intentionally offend people; its just that my filter isn't super strong and I speak my mind 96% of the time, while the other 4% is consciously voiced.)

Offensive or not, I think an important aspect of life is to fully engage in it.  Life is too short to place weight in trying to appear a certain way.  Example-- Paris Hilton in the 90s:

With managers behind her and the support of America's ignorant media, Paris made quite a name for herself being a fixture in clubs, Heatherette clothing, toting around a little dog and acting stupid.  Paris was famous for two reasons: her family name (being heir to the Hilton hotel empire) and bopping around LA/New York doing the club scene and reality tv.

What I am getting at is that I am going to assume that Paris in REAL LIFE is actually a normal person, having normal friends that she hangs out with, watches tv, eats cereal, brushes her teeth, has cellulite, etc.  Paris' staff circa the 90s presented her in this package of vapid shiny pink that America grew sick of (like most packages of vapid shiny pink shit).

Paris wasted most of the 90s playing into the role of idiot.  It was Paris' job to be a moron.  Cool.  Admirable.  So she made money doing it?  Awesome.  Something for sure to tell her grandkids about.  Do you think she will regret the Decade Of Fake and wish she spent that time getting her MBA?

What I want to know (and perhaps you) is if Paris ever wanted to go to college, or take the SAT, or pursue a career in engineering?  Do darlings of America's media ever think about what comes next?  Or, is next really just evolving America's perception of them into a newer bigger shiny pink package with kids (enter---> another reality show)?

What I appreciate are media princesses that are real, such as Bethenny Frankel.  Love her or hate her, SkinnyGirl is workin' it from an authentic angle.  Bethenny makes no apologies for who she IS, which is an unfiltered, hard working mother, business woman who is very passionate about her brand.  Work it girl.  BF has opinions about the world around her.  Yes bitch.  Opinions = not being coached in what to say to keep people happy/keep people watching your show.

I don't appreciate all the Kardashian bullshit, sans Khloe.  While I understand there is a business behind all of them (a multi-million dollar empire), what the hell are they really doing?  Yes, I get it.  Makeup and clothing and apps.  Whoopdeedoo.  Television.  Nobel Prize winning shit.  But really, what are they doing to enhance the world?  

Kylie is empowering young women to strive for fuller lips via injections or her new line of matte lipstick.  Kim is nailing it in the bitching-about-pregnancy department.  Kourtney has broken through the glass ceiling in juggling being a mother of three and her loser boyfriend (ex-boyfriend?), and nailing Bieber.  Khloe, the most awesome of all of 'em has been made a fool of by her now ex-husband.  I'm not even going to touch Caitlyn or Rob.  #jesustakethewheelbeforeIrollmyheadupinthewindow

I wonder if any of the Dash Clan will be attending the Democratic National Convention?  I wonder if any of them are even registered to vote?  Do you think Kris volunteered for the PTO at her kids' school?  Does Kim ever not talk about herself?

The scariest part in all of this is that said people (minus Bethenny Frankel) are taking people's attention from legit issues.  It is refreshing to take a breather from the Flint Water Crisis and the further breakdown of Chicago's Public School System.  But after a day, you need to get down to brass tax and keep your head in the game of real life (and not in the world of Kardashian Calabasas Range Rover matte lipliner).

I went back to work full-time in October.  Since then, every single day has been a learning experience in balancing my professional life with my personal life.  Whomever said there can be work/life balance is an opiate addicted space case who has no grasp on reality.  

I try to be up by 5:45 AM to shower and start getting ready.  The kids awaken around 6:30 and then the race begins.  Chris is usually out the door by then so I'm often on my own.  Because I have been practicing by myself for a few months, I'm just now grasping the concept.  If I can be pulling out of the driveway by 7:10, I am good to go.  Fortunately, my boss knows I take my kids to daycare in the morning, so if I stroll in 15 minutes late its acceptable.  Evenings are when the true rubber meets the road.

Kids get picked up around 5:30 PM then its all hands on deck once we get home.  We are all starving at this point, so its comical how fast I try to whip together a meal that's mildly appetizing.  I should invest more time in meal planning but weekends are spent cleaning and doing laundry and spending time with the kids.  (if anyone has meal planning tips/comments/links, please email me at jen924@hotmail.com)

Evenings are also the time of day when Beau and Casey get a little cray.  For whatever reason, their adventurous and curious nature peaks and they start getting into mischief.  Turning laundry baskets into segways, jumping off the couch into neatly folded piles of laundry and opening my makeup bag seems to be the favorite activities right before bed.  Enter----> pinot grigio.  Wine is literally the only tool I have in my house to help me give zero fucks about havoc being wreaked in the house with two toddlers.

This is not my kid by the way, thankyoujesus