I concluded my last post with the following question: "What is one thing you love about this time in your life?"

With confidence, I can name several things that I'm loving about this time in my life.  First of all, I am loving NOT being in high school.  (sigh)  The late 90s for this chic was an interesting time; turtlenecks, the Seattle sound and Victoria's Secret Romantic Bouquet body lotion were probably the high points.  High school for most, I am going to assume, is a challenging time for every single person.  Teenage years are rough enough with all the physical changes happening (in the bod).  Lets throw in hormonal bs, homework, social pressures...…. to summarize with the phrase a comedy of errors is an understatement.

A 3-sport athlete and an AT-BEST B- student, high school through my eyes would have been an amazing reality show.  I had lots of friends and excelled in sports.  I never felt like I fit in-- rather, I wasn't "in" the popular clique.  All things aside, I loved all the boys I graduated with and felt more comfortable with them than the girls.

There is something to be said about age and wisdom.  The simpler things in life become precious while superficial crap falls to the wayside as age creeps up.  I have found my tribe and want to cultivate those relationships instead of finding drinking buddies (in my 20s).

While still very much wanting to evolve and better myself, I am growing more comfortable in my own skin.  I still have insecurities, and Lordy B having kids does NOT help that, but I am more accepting of how I am wired.  I will never be an introverted person.  I will never be soft spoken and timid.  I can no longer wish to have a less passionate approach-- its the way God made me.  Ya gotta work with what ya got.

In my 20s (this is hindsight) I was searching.  I can't tell you what I was searching for-- acceptance?  A husband?  A smaller ass?  Who knows.  My search is more or less a path now.  I'm walking the path and looking at whats around instead of just looking forward.

Conclusion:  This season of life feels good.  I feel comfortable yet not complacent.  There is still progress to be made.  I know who my friends are and I have a wonderful family and life partner.

Things I'm lerving

Its a low down dirty shame that I haven't won the lottery; there are just so many things at Ulta and Sephora that I want to get my mitts on.  Seriously, if a Powerball winner was in our safe, both stores would be seeing a lot me...… and Costco, and all sushi restaurants on the daily.

Things I am Lervin'

Aside from the Target Lady, if you've never tried Acure skincare products do yourself a favor and start; your epidermis will thank you.  As someone was has had a variety of skin stuff, take my advice and start taking care of the largest organ in your body.  Skin y'all.  Sunscreen.  The whole 9.

DirecTV offered free movie channels over Thanksgiving weekend, so I juiced up on all things Friday Night Lights.  I forgot, foolishly, how amazeballs that show was.  Need some good binge watching material?  Tim Riggins will soon be a staple in your dreams.  You're welcome.

I love my coffee.  With extra cream please, no sugar.  I don't like Starbucks coffee; too motor-oily.  Ready to feast your taste buds with some amaze joe?

Yeppers.  Cameron's Highlander Grog.  Found at Menards and I think Target (or for you Amazon disciples).  Best stuff ever.  Almost.  Tim Horton's coffee is the BEST but we don't have that here in Chicago because all of Illinois is too busy raising taxes and making it impossible to have any extra money for Sephora purchases instead of making people WANT to live here by having Tim Horton's.

Pinterest.  Like the time suck continuum of Target or Amazon, Pinterest too can be a deep dark abyss of magic.  I find myself traveling down the rabbit hole of Pinterest once the kids go to bed and Chris and I are laying in bed (he watches lame shows like Oak Island or whatevertscalled).  It starts with one search (usually involving words/phrases such as "dupe" or "large breed dogs") and then all of the sudden BAM....  you are Alice in the "Repurposing Pallets" Wonderland wondering where you can get your hands on some old wood.

But seriously, Pinterest is awesome because its also a useful tool when looking for ideas on what books to check out for the kids at the library.  YES.  I read to Beau and Casey EVERY SINGLE night.  Sometimes three books, but mostly two, I try and pick out books that have an easy lesson to learn.

Said books are the fan favorite around here.  All have great story lines and adorable illustrations.

Lets wrap things up with a question.  What is one thing you love about this time in your life?

The Arrow

An arrow can only be shot by pulling it backward.  Ain't that the truth.  Here we are in 2018, almost 2019 and current events are (and I suppose always will be) still circling the drain of retrogression.

• "Texas Roadhouse manager asks nursing mother to cover herself due to complaints from other patrons."

• Pence is our Vice President and signed the Religious Freedom law.

Good stuff if I were living in a parallel universe whilst completely inebriated from Quaaludes.

I was raised to believe that we as humans are born with basic rights.  I am in control of my body and my mind.  Treat human beings with decency and respect.  Be nice and show empathy; you never know a person's situation unless you've walked in their shoes.  SIMPLE, right?

"All change is not growth, as all movement is not forward."  Looking forward towards 2019, I can only hope and pray that the US and all who are in positions of power can LEARN empathy; rework basic rights into our decision making.  I also am saying some big hail Mary prayers for POTUS to get off Twitter; its embarrassing.

Moving forward-- to summarize this morning's lecture:  Lets let nursing moms feed their babies.  Lets not discriminate against people.  Outlandish.  I KNOW.  kthanksbye

Seasons Change

Here we are.  Almost a year later.  Expose was right.  Seasons do change.  I am now in the chapter of life with my children in school full time and I'm circling the drain of "what next?"  Not gonna lie, there is lots of regret goin' on right now; lots of the following thoughts: why didn't I go to nursing school?  Why didn't I get a Masters?  Why didn't get my cosmetology license?

In 2012 I was laid off from an amazing full-time career a few weeks before Beau was born.  Coincidently, Chris also made a career move and left residential framing to start his own construction business.  It was a very exciting and risky time for our family.

Chris' business got some footing, I was soon pregnant again with Casey and the stay at home mom thing was in full swing.  Oddly, I pictured myself pre-Beau as a working mom; I lined up childcare in the weeks before he was born, arranged my maternity leave with HR, the whole 9 yards.  I made sure to enlist the advice of other working mom friends to make sure nothing was left unchecked.

So Casey arrives.  Two under two.  Career life wasn't ever a nano-thought because I was knee-deep in nursing, diapers, chubby baby thighs and all things sweat pants and Bubble Guppies.  My heart was full.

Its hard to imagine what life is beyond the next hour when you have littles all around.  Groundhog Day is how I can best describe it; lots of monotony.  Awesome but monotonous.  Then, you blink and the littles aren't so little anymore.  

School age creeps up and BOOM.  One is enrolled in 2s preschool...….. then both.  Then time ALONE starts to happen.  "Whoa.  I can go grocery shopping by myself?!?!?!"

Seasons of life.  Everything is a phase.  Nothing stays the same.  Parents who now have grown children are so right in that in goes by in a flash.  Its sad to say that I struggle trying to remember when Casey was an infant.  I was so busy trying to manage.

We also slipped in a big move when Casey was just 3 months old.  Going from 1200 square feet to 3800 has been a huge undertaking-- since we flip while living in the house.

OK.  So present day.  Beau is in all day kindergarten and Casey is in all day preschool.  We LOVE the school they are at and both are thriving!  Beau has become quite the artist while Casey is little miss social pants (wonder where she gets that from).

Though kept busy with all things housework, I would like to now invest in my future and get back to career mode.  The kids wont be littles forever and while I am loving this season of life with them, I need to think about when they are older.  Sooner than I'd like to think, the kiddies will be more independent and have different needs.

I wish I had gone to nursing school or received a cosmetology license so job hunting was less challenging.  (there seems to always be need for someone who can throw in good highlights and a person to administer medical care)  Having a skill/trade would've been a good career move for me post college.  Instead I throw my eggs into the corporate black hole of ever changing oddities.  LinkedIn, Glassdoor and all that jazz can't seem to navigate me to a well paying, fully benefitted mildly flexible job.  WTF.  

I haven't lost all hope; I'm trying to go outside the box for income.  My dream job would be on Sirius as a show host.  Who wouldn't want to listen to my lark-like voice every day?

Until a lottery is won I'm tossing my words into the universe in hopes that something happens for me.