Seasons Change

Here we are.  Almost a year later.  Expose was right.  Seasons do change.  I am now in the chapter of life with my children in school full time and I'm circling the drain of "what next?"  Not gonna lie, there is lots of regret goin' on right now; lots of the following thoughts: why didn't I go to nursing school?  Why didn't I get a Masters?  Why didn't get my cosmetology license?

In 2012 I was laid off from an amazing full-time career a few weeks before Beau was born.  Coincidently, Chris also made a career move and left residential framing to start his own construction business.  It was a very exciting and risky time for our family.

Chris' business got some footing, I was soon pregnant again with Casey and the stay at home mom thing was in full swing.  Oddly, I pictured myself pre-Beau as a working mom; I lined up childcare in the weeks before he was born, arranged my maternity leave with HR, the whole 9 yards.  I made sure to enlist the advice of other working mom friends to make sure nothing was left unchecked.

So Casey arrives.  Two under two.  Career life wasn't ever a nano-thought because I was knee-deep in nursing, diapers, chubby baby thighs and all things sweat pants and Bubble Guppies.  My heart was full.

Its hard to imagine what life is beyond the next hour when you have littles all around.  Groundhog Day is how I can best describe it; lots of monotony.  Awesome but monotonous.  Then, you blink and the littles aren't so little anymore.  

School age creeps up and BOOM.  One is enrolled in 2s preschool...….. then both.  Then time ALONE starts to happen.  "Whoa.  I can go grocery shopping by myself?!?!?!"

Seasons of life.  Everything is a phase.  Nothing stays the same.  Parents who now have grown children are so right in that in goes by in a flash.  Its sad to say that I struggle trying to remember when Casey was an infant.  I was so busy trying to manage.

We also slipped in a big move when Casey was just 3 months old.  Going from 1200 square feet to 3800 has been a huge undertaking-- since we flip while living in the house.

OK.  So present day.  Beau is in all day kindergarten and Casey is in all day preschool.  We LOVE the school they are at and both are thriving!  Beau has become quite the artist while Casey is little miss social pants (wonder where she gets that from).

Though kept busy with all things housework, I would like to now invest in my future and get back to career mode.  The kids wont be littles forever and while I am loving this season of life with them, I need to think about when they are older.  Sooner than I'd like to think, the kiddies will be more independent and have different needs.

I wish I had gone to nursing school or received a cosmetology license so job hunting was less challenging.  (there seems to always be need for someone who can throw in good highlights and a person to administer medical care)  Having a skill/trade would've been a good career move for me post college.  Instead I throw my eggs into the corporate black hole of ever changing oddities.  LinkedIn, Glassdoor and all that jazz can't seem to navigate me to a well paying, fully benefitted mildly flexible job.  WTF.  

I haven't lost all hope; I'm trying to go outside the box for income.  My dream job would be on Sirius as a show host.  Who wouldn't want to listen to my lark-like voice every day?

Until a lottery is won I'm tossing my words into the universe in hopes that something happens for me.