On the open road, rental car rockin' to the 80s XM radio (compliments of my Executive Emerald status with National), windows down........ a loogy landing on my windshield. That's right: A BIG WAD OF PHLEGM. For all you windshield fluid makers out there, mouth boogers don't come off with a few swishes of the blue shit and some wiper action. A truck stop later and a wad of napkins, the window became free of oral shit while my mouth became full with vomit.
Since I'm on the subject of rude, ignorant people that spit out of windows, I should make mention of Casey Anthony. Apparently, she was released from jail. Well, since Nancy Grace has made it her single mission in life to talk 24 hours/day about "Tot Mom," I know Casey has been evicted from the pen. I wonder where she is going to live? Do you think people are going to notice her on the street and pull some ninja moves on her ass? No matter what ugly shade of gold Casey chooses to dye her, she may be the most recognized person (aside from Octomom or Richard Simmons). I'm going to bet..... as God as my witness...... there is going to be a day when Casey decides to pick up a gallon of milk and some bread at her local 7-Eleven, and some crazy-ass chic (coming off a 5 day meth binge) is going to go spider monkey.
Chris, Phil, Kristy and I (I forgot to mention Burt, a.k.a Brent) had a garage sale over the weekend. With high ticket items such as a dishwasher, a new-used vacuum, power tools, clothing and an eliptical machine, we thought we would rake in the cash. News flash-- I think we pulled away with $65 a piece. Because of the less than awesome profits, I have decided to extend the garage sale to next weekend. I'm going to market-the-shit out of our little driveway-style Wal-Mart. Perhaps I should steal some puppies, throw them in a wagon, slap an arrow on them and hope to draw more customers?
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