I hate snakes.  HATE.  I also hate mosquitoes because they serve NO PURPOSE.  (At least with snakes, they eat mice and other nuisance vermin.)  This weekend, I developed a hatred for another one of God's creatures-- spiders.  I don't freak out when I see a spider crawling by; even if it is crawling on me.  My dislike for these stinkin' 8-legged jerks is because they bite.

It is fair to say that I have 13-15 spider bites on my right leg.  What the fuck.  Spider bites are not small.  No.  Of course, unlike a mosquito, spiders have to nip ya in groups of 3 or so, and of course, they have to swell up to the size of marbles.  COOL.  So now, my upper right thigh and hip are literally itching like crazy and have swelled.  Word up.

The mauling of my lower extremities occurred at our cottage in Wisconsin.  Yes, the house is located in a wooded area where one would find lots of spiders and like creatures.  I am all about sharing space with those who inhibited the area first.  #peace  While I'm Ghandi on the surface, I am NOT about sharing my sleeping arrangements with spiders.  No-thank-you-get-the-f-out.

As I heal this week and get wasted on Benadryl I'm going to come with a pretty strong arsenal to ensure that spiders DON'T become my bedmates.