Sleeping Dog

It's another scorcher out there today.  My poor husband.  A framer/carpenter by trade, Chris has to endure the cold winters and hot-ass summers slingin' nails.  He will tell you any day of the week that -15 is WAY better than anything over 65. 

Chris usually gets home from work before me.  During the hot months, I typically find him posted up on the couch with a LARGE cup of something to drink and an odd look on his face.  I have come to learn that the "odd" look is from working all day without food in his belly.  He says "its too hot to eat."  OH.  OK.  I feel much better knowing that you've been up on a hot roof all day, with no shade to speak of with no food in your system.  Great.  I'll you what--  there is no amount of Gatorade that can provide enough calories to off-set the amount of perspiring you're doing throughout the day, Chris.  You must eat before you leave for work, or else you're going to end up on the front lawn, having fallen a few stories from heat stroke/passing out, with several broken bones or worse, dead.

So, after he posts up on the couch for several minutes to cool the jets (I used to not believe in A/C however, since being pregnant + a very hot June + a hubbie that is as white as a sheet post work = 72 degree thermostat) he gets his wits about him, showers and eats a large meal.  I then feel better.  We don't like the ole' blood sugar hovering around 19.  I like it at 120 thank you very much.

In celebration of Greta Fat Pants Banana Hammock's 1st birthday, Chris, Kasia and I headed to B-Town for her Unicorn/Rainbow/LGBT fiesta.  I can't believe Greta was born a year ago.  It seems like just yesterday she was the size of a little stinker fat, with small little underpants and teeny hands.  Now, Greta is walking (like an Ewok) and speaking Vietnamese/Polish fusion and has quite the personality.  She does this thing with her eyebrows as if she is giving you the stink eye.  So cute, yet so saucey.  (pictures soon to follow)

We had the opportunity to meet Carrie's Mom's Club friends, Cook Medical friends and Greta's little bandmates.  Everyone was so nice and easy to talk to.  With Dave taking a new job in Fort Wayne in a few short weeks, I know they are sad to leave their Bloomington family behind.  Plus, Oliver and Sam are Greta's fellow gang members (The Underpants Gang) and the gang must always stick together.  Thug Life.

I'd also like to add that Greta's hair and fat feet are amazeballs.  Her hair is magically whispy like sheets of toilet paper and her feet defy physics.

ANNOUNCEMENT:  Baby rabbits have set up shop in our backyard.  Kasia found them last night.  Chris is NOT HAPPY.  Those damn rabbit slut moms dig up holes in our grass (new sod) and make Chris super pissed.  I know they'll be gone in a few weeks, so until then, I will await the time when I can pick them up, smell them and pretend to put them in my pocket.

32 Weeks With Calf and Counting.  I have 8 weeks left.  God grant me the patience that I will make it that far.  My hands hurt and I feel super freakin' fat.  Well, I am fat.

I had a doctor's appointment with Bitch Doctor on Friday.  (see previous post)  Apparently they are considering me HIGH RISK due to my bleeding/contractions scare two weeks ago.  BD wants me to get to 34 weeks, then she won't worry about me anymore.  Until then, no more picking up laundry baskets full of dirty clothes.  Also, BD wasn't as bitchy.  I feel bad for naming her BD.

Due to the very high June temps Chicago has been experiencing, I'm officially obsessed with checking the weather/radar.  The midwest is way under for rain = gross grass in the Willis' front yard.  Most people probably don't care about how their grass looks however, I do.  Plus, we spent alot of time and money making our flower beds/grass no whitetrashy, so its natural that I want shit looking right and tight.

FATHER'S DAY:
Happy Father's Day to Chris, a future father.  He will be a great dad to baby Willis because he is far more patient than I.  Also, Chris is good at baiting worms on hooks, so I know he'll take junior fishing.  I don't do worms because they look like mini snakes and we all know that Mofos DON'T DO SNAKES (they dont have legs and thus, its unnatural and disgusting).