Dutch Tulips

I have a guilty confession...... and let me preface this by saying I am in no way ungrateful for being able to get pregnant so easily........ I'm not all about being pregnant.  I have friends and acquaintances that were all about being preggers. 

"I didn't know who I really was until I got pregnant."
"Life didn't start until I got pregnant."
"I felt so beautiful being pregnant."

Gimme a break.  Let's recap how I have felt and currently feel while being with calf:

1.)  I feel very FAT.  On my wedding day I was the thinnest I have ever been (as an adult).  Granted, I was eating super healthy and super busy with work and wedding planning.  It is a literal slap in the face getting dressed for work in the mornings.  I have said sayonara to cute underpants, my expensive jeans (purchased from the Buckle) and 32X bras.  Embracing large cut underpants (sized in the double digits), elastic-paneled pants/jeans and 36DDD bras.  Yes.  I said 32DDD.  Holy shit my rack is huge.  (sidenote: I had thought about spending my work bonus on a breastlift and implants to "fill out" my current bosom.  This surgery would simply modify my currently large breasts, not turn them into porn boobs.  I'm no longer thinking about anything but a double mastectomy).

2.)  I can't sleep.  I went off Effexor before our wedding because I knew I wanted to try and get pregnant right away.  Armed with weekly therapy sessions and a commitment to walk my dog everyday (for fresh air, piece of mind and 30 minutes of reflection), I thought I'd be good to go.  Boy was I wrong.  Now suffering from severe anxiety, I can't sleep for shit.  Compiled with not being able to get comfortable in bed, I'm exhausted every morning.  Thankfully, Kasia joins me in bed and rubbing her softie ears helps.

3.)  My diet sucks.  If you want to call it a diet.....  my food preferences.  I have always considered myself an adventurous eater-- any and all things I'll try.  I love goat cheese, quinoa, sushi, veggies, fruit... you name it.  I could easily eat clean and in a rounded fashion before becoming pregnant.  Now, nothing tastes good.  I finish every single meal unsatisfied.  Eating out in restaurants is a joke.  After staring at a menu for 10 minutes, the only thing that sounds appealing is iced tea.  Will my taste buds grow back?

4.)  Sign my up for the loony bin.  Tag teamed with #2, my emotions are all over the board.  My poor husband.  Chris seriously must think I am certifiably crazy.  I could cry at the drop of a hat.... even if I were surrounded by golden retriever puppies and baby lambs.

In conclusion, pregnancy for me hasn't been a walk in the park.  I know there is harder times ahead (mid-July and 8 months pregnant won't be awesome), but I'm more than happy to walk that walk in order to meet our son in a happy and healthy manner.