Tuesday, December 6, 2011

Nashville

I have been absent from the blogging world due to my recent nuptials.  Leading up to the wedding, the actual wedding day and post wedding fatigue has combusted and morphed into me being an irresponsible writer.  Sorry.  OK, now that we're all over that, let's move onto other, more important things.  CHRISTMAS.


Hark!  The celebration of the birth of Christ and Lifetime Television's run of Christmas movies always puts me in a good mood.  There are however, many things that aren't joyeux noel regarding Christ's big birfday.  Below is a list of my Christmas pet peeves:

1.)  The shopping idiots that wear those lame-ass Santa hats.  It's borderline perpitraiter.



2.)  People that think that Christmas is just about shopping.  (see above)
3.)  Dumb Christmas-related snowflake and/or penguin tops..... as well as earrings that look like ornaments.


4.)  I would like to explain item #3..... its acceptable to wear a cool, old school skiing/Nordic sweater.  Snowflakes accompanied by the tag Nordica, Rossignol or Tecnica are totally legit.

Clay Aiken singing Christmas carols should be outlawed OR given to patients that suffer from constipation.  It'll cause diarrhea REAL fast.



5.)  Acceptable Christmas music can include Mariah Carey, Kelly Clarkson and anything from a children's choir.

6.)  Shitty Christmas lights on a house.  Have a little respect people.  Seriously.  Throwing on a coat and mittens, going outside and literally SLAPPING lights on your house isn't cool.  Actually, the people across the street to take a few lessons from me.  The picture below is what NOT to do:



Keep things tasteful people.  Come on.......  Above indicates several different mediums.  Stick with one style and one color of lights.  If you like color-- bang it out people..... just keep all the lights the same size in bulb persuasion.  Below is a tasteful example of a lovely house at Christmas:




Clearly, this house is done tastefully.  Stick with simple and classic Christmas decor.... no one wants to see glitter, moving Santas and reindeer that are way smaller than lifesize.  Now, let's open Pandora's Box and discuss indoor decor.





No comments:

Why are you worth knowing? We all circle the drain of qualifying our worth/what we are giving back to the universe...…. don't we?  I s...