Thursday, September 1, 2011

Beatrix the squirrel-a-puss

I love and hate mornings, all at the same time.  The following is a list of reasons why I love the morning:

-Kasia's ears have been marinading in magical humidity all through the night, thus producing ultimate softness.
-It's not that hot out at 6 AM.
-Chris' farts are loud and not too smelly, which equals laughing.
-My one cup of coffee each day is ingested in the morning, which always tastes delicious
-After my shower, Kasia usually greets me at the bathroom door with a medley of treasures: her deer horn, a dirty sock, an empty toilet paper roll, a tube of wood glue, Beatrix the squirrel/octopus furry toy and my black high heel.


Reasons why I hate mornings:
-Work
-Driving to Itasca or the airport..... both suck
-The same music is played on 99.5 the country station.  Mix it up for Heaven's sake.  I want to hear Alabama.  (Alabama is awesome because they all wear sweet tinted glasses)

-People that don't know that the left lane is for driving fast need to pull over, turn off their cell phone, put down the tube of mascara and get checked.  "You've been checked, bitch!" -Tammy from Basketball Wives

-Upon arrival at the office, it's like "Dumb question hour."  For example, "So Jennie..... you're wearing all black today, huh?"  Yes dumbass.  All black.  Glad you're not colorblind.


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