I've talked about the MTV show Teen Mom before.  And because its so amazing, I'm going to talk about it again.  Actually, I'm just going to talk about Farrah.  This particular cast of Teen Mom first appeared on "16 And Pregnant" several years ago.  All being teenage mothers, this show chronicled the lives of Maci, Farrah, Catelynn and Amber as they navigated their way through waters unknown.  All their stories were different-- all compelling, nonetheless.  So, flash forward to now and their stories are still unfolding and are just as interesting, if not even more.  

THEN

Maci-- we met her as a high school student, getting ready to give birth to her son Bentley.  Ryan, Bentley's father, was her steady boyfriend at the time.

Amber-- new mom to daughter Leah, she and her boyfriend Gary were trying to make it work as new parents.

Farrah (my favorite)-- teen mom to Sophia, never was filmed with on again-off again boyfriend Derek (baby daddy).

Catelynn-- the most heart tugging story, gave birth to baby Carly and opted for adoption with her boyfriend Tyler.

Long story short, the cast has grown up and so have their babies.  Now first graders/kindergartners, the kids are thriving and cuter than ever.  All of the ladies have been through hell and back in some sort of way but road has been more colorful than Farrah's.

Yep.  That's good ole Farrah..... and not in pilates class.  PORN, although she claims it was a sex tape leaked to the media.  Yeah.  Sure.... and I'm the Queen of Egypt.  Lured by what I'm assuming is $$$$, Farrah went down the road of Ron Jeremy's colleagues and also opted to enhance herself.  Now, Farrah is lying in the bed she made (no pun intended) and is having a hard time swallowing (no pun intended) the American public's reaction to her dirty decisions.

At the end of the day, Farrah should've used her Teen Mom money to put a psychiatrist on the pay roll.  Her daughter's father died before the birth of Sophia, her parents divorced, not to mention being thrust into the public eye with the success of the show.  Instead, Farrah probably got mixed up with a slimey manager and was urged to use her assets for beat off material.

I hope that 16 And Pregnant illustrated the not-so-glam version of being a young parent.  I hope that Teen Mom OG emphasizes (even more) how being a teen mother/father changes everything. 

The silver lining in all this?  Catelynn and Tyler got married (finally), had another child (who is literally the cutest little unicorn EVER) and have a nice little life.  Amber is figuring her shit out.  Maci had another baby named Jayde with her bf Taylor..... Bentley's dad Ryan is still the biggest douche loser ever.  If only Farrah could get it together and stop being such a friggin' b to her poor mom.  Give Deb a break for chrissakes.  

http://brobible.com/entertainment/article/conan-ice-cube-kevin-hart-teach-girl-to-drive/

Having a bad day?  You literally need to put down whatever it is your fooling with, and watch the mentioned clip.  You're welcome.

Ever have one of those days where you feel like there is a 168 lb. cat is resting on your shoulders?  Yeah.  That's me today.  Is there any sort of airborne Xanax I can inhale?  Alcohol in chewing gum form?  Its not that I'm ungrateful for all the wonderful awesome things in my life.  I'm just having one of those days.  Perhaps I should capitalize on my mood and invent some sort of mental slap-in-the-face (via gum/candy/droplet) that has the capability to pull oneself out of a state of "f the world."  An emotional sports bra if you will; lifts you up, holds your shit in place so you can work-it-girl.

Perhaps I should be updating my blog...... and have it evolve into a round table discussion regarding today's happenings/politics, etc.  There is just SO much going on.  In fact, too much to process.  

Donald Trump for one, is a larger than life cystic zit that just wont go away;  Its like when you're at the last-ditch effort to make that damn blemish go away, and blow torch may not be powerful enough.  The simple thought of DT becoming POTUS makes me get insta-diarrhea.   Scratch that, that low blood sugary feeling when you almost faint is how I feel.  

The shooting in San Bernadino, CA.  Yet another shooting.  Jesus on the cross.  People are going postal, with a full arsenal of shit is insane.  Literally.  The LaQuan McDonald bullshit.  What is this world coming to?  Are we just a pissed off people?  Lacking empathy?  No longer tolerant of any adversity?  I dont even know where to start in how to digest all these negative happenings.  I fear for the lives of my kids.

For starters, getting a gun should be as difficult was getting a mortgage.  Its a responsibility to carry a weapon.  Plain and simple.  Want a gun?  Cool.  Register here, take these classes, and go through the steps.  Get denied?  So sorry, guess you'll have to try again at another time.

LaQuan McDonalds and the CPS.  First of all.... the fact that this nonsense was hidden from the general public is gross.  People knew and for whatever reason, felt it was morally legit to keep their mouths shut.  WEIRD.  I would not be able to sleep at night knowing information that could negatively affect another person.

I have this sneaking feeling that my guy Rahm knew something.....  I get that he is busy.....  but acknowledge and delegate accordingly.  I give it a few more months, once the federal investigation kicks off, and the shits gonna start boiling out of the cracks.  

I'm a working mom.  Chris got his wish.  One big observation-- there is no such thing as work/life balance.  All those parents out there who spew at the mouth about how there house is so clean, and they worked out for 5 hours and made a 5 course meal can eat shit. 

I am gone 10 hours a day.  I come home to chaos.  Dinner needs to be made, baths, bed time.  This is why people drink.  I should invest in a winery because it would be cost effective.

Its been too long.  A few fun facts, in no specific order:

1.  I need to find a job yesterday.

2.  The whore/saleschic at the Benefit Brow Bar/Ulta at Jefferson Pointe in Fort Wayne, IN needs to stop talking, focus on her job and lighten up on the lipgloss.

3.  I thought it was winter.  Where is the snow?

4.  I'm in a meal planning slump.  Nothing sounds good, yet I'm starving.

5.  Shep is now into throwing things; books, blocks, Matchbox cars, food.  Casey's head is often the target.

I wish I could land a radio DJ/XM hosting gig.  Getting paid to talk and offer up my opinions.  Best job EVER.  How do I land that gig?

What's new:  I have a shorter 'do, do to the fact that my hair is falling out.  Thyroid?  Stress?  Post baby action?  Who knows?  All I know is that I need a weave.  Its also darker-- not sure how I feel about it.

My kid, the future frat boy, complete with keg in hand

Do you think Snooki is going to look back on her Jersey Shore years and be mortified?  I'm watching an episode and she uses the term "DTF" as if its the word "the."  Or, the fact that she is having a daughter-- and perhaps, her daughter may follow in her footsteps and act like a dumb, education-less person?  Just a thought.

I need the famous ASID designer Scot Meacham Wood to come to my house and wave his magic wand.  If you haven't checked out his blog, its amaze balls.  http://tartanscot.blogspot.com  He has a gift for plaid and tartan and all the things.  A genius.

Its almost September

Its almost September which means I will be 35.  Shit.  I don't have time for that.  What I do have time for is crap television, since its what I look forward to most when the kids nap/go to bed for the night.  I can fold laundry, vacuum, whathaveyou while being sucked into a world of garbage television.

1.)  Married At First Sight
2.)  Below Deck
3.)  Real Housewives of New Jersey
4.)  Real Housewives of Orange County
5.)  Gypsy Sisters
6.)  Jersey Belle
7.)  any and all HBO Documentary
8.)  FRIDAY NIGHT LIGHTS as a back up with the above are not DVR/d or available

Jersey Belle is my latest favorite because Jamie, the main character, is entrenched in a world of all things Southern.  Hilarious.

Underpants is now 3 months old and cute as a button unicorn puppy.  Her hair is magical (and falling out, just like mine), she has the brightest blue eyes and literally, smiles all the time.  Shep still wants nothing to do with her.  Casey is a fab sleeper and eater-- her thighs are porky and soft.

Well, we got it.  A short sale in the United States has gone through in less than 6 months.  Holy shit, hallelujah and where's the Tylenol.  We close on our house on August 1, so we have lots to do in the mean time.  Chris wants to install new floors at the new house (its a dump) and get things tightened up before we move all of our chattels.  Talk about having a million balls in the air.  I guess thats how we roll.  Circus style.

I'm officially the mother of two and seriously lagging behind in all things life related.  Laundry, showering, blogging, exercising, sleeping….. you name it.

Casey Elizabeth Willis joined the world via c-section on May 15, 2014.  8lbs even and cute as a button.  The surgery was a sunnovabitch however, I managed to survive.  Mazel.

Lots to catch up on….. I'll do the Cliffnotes version:

-I'm 34 weeks pregnant and we have no name.  Can't agree.  Help.

-Beau fell and got knocked out a few weeks ago, also puncturing the shit out of his mouth (running with a stick-like item in his hand).  Lots of blood, no crying…… hello ER.  He pulled through and loved the sink in the triage of Good Samaritan Hospital.

-Lindsay Lohan is still a hot fucking mess.  Her show on the OWN Network is hilarious and makes me feel good about myself.  She has 3 assistants, a life coach, a sober coach and still can't get it together.  Am I missing something?

-We put an offer in on a short sale several weeks ago and its KILLING me to not know if we got it or not.  260 Saint Andrews Dr, Bolingbrook, IL  Check it out.  Lots of potential.

-Spring has sprung and I'm itching to get out and plant.  The side yard is my domain and I am so excited to go plant shopping.  My version of Heaven is drinking margaritas all day, listening to Hall & Oates and gardening.  Weird.  I know.

-Greta and Beau got their picture taken last week.  There was a live rabbit.  The rabbit lived.  Score.

-There was a murder/suicide in our town last week.  Terribly sad.  A father stabbed his 3 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER then hung himself.  I can't even believe it.  I've been thinking how that child's mother can go on living her life.  Holy shit.  I'd have to be committed or become a drug addict.

-I've been grasping the concept that happiness is a choice.  Literally.  Ponder that for a day or two, then get back to me.