Thursday, January 14, 2016

The Powerball.  I for one have been daydreaming about winning the Powerball (or some sort of lottery entailing a shitpile of scratch) for years.  Literally.  I will catch myself staring off into unicorn space and fantasizing about all the magical things I'd do with tons of dough.  Below is a list, which has been compiled over several hours spent in unicorn space (in order of importance):
*It is automatically assumed I have an attorney on payroll as well as team of financial advisors*

1.  Pay off my students loans whilst telling Sallie Mae to get fucked.

2.  Share my wealth with immediate family members so we can all live in the lap of awesomeness

3.  Donate 1/4 of wealth to charity, most likely being some sort of Alzheimer's group, Epilepsy collabaritive, some dog/animal shelters and Planned Parenthood.

4.  Pay off my house, as well as immediate family members homes still with mortgages, as well as their student loans.

5.  Plan and partake in a kick-ass vacay (with nanny in tow and immediate family) around the British Virgin Islands for several weeks or however long I feel like it.



6.  Donate 1-2 mil to Saint Joseph's College, so they can name a building after me.

7.  Sing my son up for hockey.

8.  Start a youth lacrosse program in DuPage County, IL (and have my dad run it)


9.  Most likely, we would stay in our home, but finish remodeling it, which would include a really lux master bath and finish the unfinished basement, so my parents could sleep over and not have to stay in a hotel when they come to visit.

10.  Buy a vacation home in either Wisconsin or Michigan that could sleep several people.  And have a garage full of snowmobiles, and all the things.  We'd also have several acres of privacy, some horses, perhaps some chickens for fresh eggs.


11.  I'd start a non-profit for single working parents to ensure their children were getting everything they needed: transportation to and from activities, homework help, college counseling, the whole nine yards.

12.  Buy the lots on either side of our house, tell our HOA to get fucked, and build an awesome garden and an in-ground pool.

13.  Volunteer at a dog shelter or at a NICU.  Holding teeny babies or holding baby puppies is awesome.

Lastly, I would hire a personal trainer.  For realsies.  Everyday, that person would come to my house and work out with me in my kick ass home gym.


1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I would like to state that I will fulfill your need on #5. No charge.

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