Friday, May 25, 2012

Slow Traffic in the LEFT LANE

When did it become acceptable for slow-ass Western Chicago suburban drivers to drive 35 m.p.h. in the left lane.  Sorry folks.....  its 7:15 AM, people are commuting to work on I-355 (a toll road, so it's not free), time is of the essence...... move the fuck over.  When someone passes you (having to move to the center lane from the left lane) and they showcase the ole "high and hard" (middle finger) and honk while passing, that is CLEAR indication that you are moving TOO SLOW and need to adjust your position. 

I don't have road rage.  I, simply, don't have time for the horseshit antics that take place on the highway.  Left lane is for faster traffic.  It's a fact.  We learned this in driver's ed.  Common sense.  So, until the said problem has been remedied, I'm keeping MY high and hard on standby for necessary action.

Since it is Air-Your-Pet-Peeves-Day in cubicle #4, I'd like to address something else that almost infuriates me.  People's clothing choice(s) while golfing.  General golf etiquette dictates something a bit different than any other sporting activity.........say..... a pick-up game of flag football.  Flag footballers can wear their underwear and execute in perfectly acceptable fashion.  Golf, well that's a different story.  I don't care if its a goat ranch or Pebble Beach.....  please wear non-jeans and a collared shirt.  Not acceptable?  See below:






This is a great segway into another unacceptable garment choice..... men in jean shorts (of any length).  Jean shorts are a tricky thing to pull off for women..... and simply, off limits for males.  Below are examples of acceptable jean short choices:





Yes.  Jessica Simpson can rock a denim short.  Not acceptable?  See below:





A good rule of thumb for any outfit choice?  If you're rocking short shorts (jean or other material), wear something to cover your top half.  Don't be showing leg and chest/arms.  If you want to wear a skimpy top-- rock it, but wear long pants/jeans.  Keep it classy.  No need to showcase ALL the goods.  And for Heaven's sake....  DON'T wear hot shorts and a bandeau top.... unless you also have on leg warmers, roller skates and something with a rainbow on it.




1 comment:

Katie said...

Love this- you're too funny. Have a great long weekend- I hope that baby lets you get some quality sleep!

Very cute new blog design, by the way!

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