Xanax all around

I'm in Charlotte for work.  Until Thursday, my life is out of suitcase.  Too bad I forgot sweatpants and a pair of tennis shoes.  It's 63 and sunny here; perfect weather for a walk.  I swear, as I sit here on my oversized hotel room bed, the fat is mutating on my thighs.  I guess I can thank my "customer lunch" for the additional cellulite.  Was it really necessary to eat shrimp and grits?  Well, yes.... it was necessary.

Since there is a lull in my afternoon (hence why I'm sitting on my oversized hotel bed), I'm participating in a little HGTV.  An always-consistent channel, HG is featuring this year's Dream House.  In case you don't know what I'm talking about, GOOGLE IT.  Ridic.  Each year, HGTV chooses a cool location to build a kick ass.  Below are a few past homes:

This year, HG did their Dream House in Park City, UT.  A ridiculously gorgeous ski town, PC provides a lovely mix of ski town and mini-city.  Chris and I had the opportunity to travel there last year for Nate and Shortcakes' wedding.  Also, The Canyons may be the best place to ski; offering plenty of terrain from novice to expert.

Shake Your Bon Bon

For any of my readers out there that really know me you understand my passion for life.  I love life and people and good food and cowboy boots and beautiful landscapes.  I try really hard to live with the mantra "Generosity Of Spirit" (stolen from the movie "The Family Stone") however, I fail probably everyday.  As much as I love life to the fullest, I can be judgmental.  I have NO tolerance for bigotry, ignorant people/comments and ridiculously dumb people that use the n-word.

So, most days when I'm in the office I hit up the cafeteria at lunchtime.....  bear with me, this will come full circle......   I gathered with lunch buddies the other day, eager to enjoy my Spaghettio's and Meatballs.  Typically, conversation covers sports, entertainment (movies, etc) and general goings-on in the greater Chicagoland area.  Yesterday however, was a bit out of the ordinary.   By out of the ordinary, I mean extra annoying.

With us at the lunch table are the usual suspects.  A few quiet ones and all too often, 2-3 not quiet ones.  The non-quiet variety often spout off at the mouth with dumb shit.  Their opinion (which is ridiculous and ignorant) on such topics as politics, Israel, rules in the NHL and the weather.  I've learned to block it out although, one time I did fire back at some dumb comments about women drivers.

As mentioned above, I have learned to block out most comments from my fellow workers.  Yesterday was the tip of the iceberg for me.... and by tip I mean I almost exploded.  Below is the comment.  After reading it, I want you to just sit with it and be quiet.

"Did you hear that Ricky Martin got married?  Since he is gay he obviously married a man.  I hope he gets AIDS and dies."

The potpourri of crap hasn't even fully digested with me.  I wanted to jump across the table and tackle the ass that said this.  The worst part is that this guy's son was sitting with us.  What a disservice to speak in such a way in front of your offspring.  Nothing like spewing hate.

On a brighter note, I'm wearing maternity jeans today.  Interesting.  I recommend these pants for anyone hitting up their local Old Country Buffet.  LOTS o spandex.

The Big Announcement

So I announced being preggo on Faceborg today.  I was nervous to do it, especially since it's no longer personal news.  I suppose the posting is an excuse to be able to bitch about pregnant-related things/talk about the few foods I can actually tolerate.  Below is a visual display of foods that appeal to me and nothing else:



Foods that DON'T sound the least bit appealing are simple: fruit and veggies.  Gross.  Although, I have had blackberries with lunch everyday and haven't gagged.  Cantaloupe also sounds kind of appetizing at this moment.

Chris is super excited to be a dad.  I don't think he has the faintest idea what he is in store for.  I'm hoping my brother-in-law (Dave) will school him on all-things baby related.  Having the wonderful experience of seeing my niece piece grow up has been very valuable-- Carrie has taught me a ton in such a short amount of time.  If our stinkerfat is 1/8 as cute as Baby Greta Fat Pants, I'll consider us lucky parental units.



Greta has grown into the fattest little hobbit ever.  Her wrists and ankles look as though there are rubberbands around them.  And, she smells good (not like syrup and pee).  I'm also her godmother, so it's my job to be her hype girl.



Spaghettios and Meatballs

Since I'm having The World's Crappiest Day Ever, I thought rebounding the shittiness with happy things would be productive (since most of my day has resulted in the opposite).  Below are my favorite things in the whole wide world:

1.)  A clean house.  God bless my mother however, growing up our house was always in the shambles.  Not like Hoarding-style or anything that extreme....  just messy ALL THE TIME.  I vowed that as an adult my house would always be tidy.  Things in their proper place, floors clean, bathrooms and terlits spotless (no poopy marks or peepee marks) and no dog hairs in the corners of the kitchen is the way a home should be kept.  Going further, a good smelling home helps a clean home.  I always have a candle burning and Bath And Body Works plug-ins in strategic places.  (The scent I have right now is "Winter."  It smells like cloves, clean air, slight pine and Christmas rolled into one.)

2.)  Spaghettio's and meatballs.  Not the imitation brand.  No Spaghetti Rings for this chic.  I'm talkin' Chef Boyardee shit.  The good shit.  In fact, I may have those items for dinner this evening.  Sophisticated and classy.

3.)  Puppies.  I don't care what anyone says:  All puppies are cute.  My dog Kasia, and maybe I'm biased, was the cutest porkiest smooshiest puppy ever that landed on Earth from Jesus.  She had magical softies puppy fur that slowly mutated to dog hair.  Her paws were chubby and fat like spatulas and ideal for petting and smelling.  Additionally, puppies make all your pain go away.  It's a fact and I should win the Nobel Peace Prize for that finding.

4.)  Sweatpants.  Sweatpants are the factually the most forgiving item of clothing one could wear.  They don't make you feel fat.  They enhance the mood in any situation.  They make grocery shopping more fun.

5.)  Good highlights.  As a dishwater blonde, I have struggled most of my adult life with the best hair color.  I'm too fair to be a brunette; not blonde enough to be a whorish Pam Anderson blonde.  Pay the money, find a good hair colorist and stick with that person.  There is nothing worse than brassy highlights (or "herlights" as I like to call them).  Also, buy yourself some blue shampoo, or toning shampoo to help maintain that gorgeous buttery, baby blonde hair.

6.)  Confidence.  This is a toughy for me being on the "Favorite List" however, there is a loophole.  Being in sales and having to be introduced, do the introducing, etc I encounter lots of different styles of manners.  Some bad, some good, some down right shitty.....  If you can handle yourself and be poised in a new situation, then God bless.  Some non-work related people I know that don't know how to behave amongst adults ..... well, it is just sickening.  Sickening.  Shake someone's hand upon an introduction.  Speak clearly/don't fucking mumble.  I'm not Miss Manners by any stretch however, I do know how to state my name and seal it with a shake.

7.)  Yankee Candles.  This goes along with #1 (a clean home).  I love candles.  Chris hates them because he says I always forget to blow them out.  Whatever.  Scenario-- someone swings by your house unannounced:  even if your house is messy and dirty, a lovely candle will mask most odors of farts, burned food and dog.  Scents I like include: Meyer Lemon, Early Sunrise, Mountain Lodge and Fluffy Towels.

8.)  Last but not least, Pandora.  Bread radio kicks ass.  Try it.  You won't be sorry.





snowflakes and underpants

Every morning and every night (like clockwork) I check www.weather.com.  I, like my twin sister, am obsessed with the weather.  Well, I should clarify..... winter weather.  Growing up in America's High Five, a.k.a. Michigan, one could always depend on a crisp white winter.  Tree branches adorned with several sparkly inches of frozen glitter, windows clouded with a hair thin layer of frost and the smell of snow.  Yes Virginia, snow has a smell and has a voice.  So here we are in mid- January and it's fucking raining.  Pardon my french however, I'm very disappointed in Mother Nature.  With her bad attitude quite apparent, Momma Season needs to tighten her sporting undergarments and make it frozen rain. .... like a rap video of snow...... snowflakes everywhere.

The other reason why I love winter is because I enjoy snowmobiling.  An old college friend, Nick Culpepper, introduced me to this lovely sport several years ago.  Once I turned on that hog, I was addicted.  I guess that's the trashy side of me-- snowmobiling is basically Nascar in winter.  AND Nascar = trash.



Before I found out I was preggers, Chris and I talked about buying a pair of sweet sleds and hitting the open road.  Now, its best advised to not drop several thousands of dollars on lightening fast snowmobiles.  Dammit.

Teblow

I'd like to cover a few topics in today's entry.  There have been several important happenings in and outside of my world.  I apologize in advance if these happenings are discussed in fragments.

1.)  The Broncos lost to the New England Patriots in a blow out.  The score was not at all close-- which made me even happier.  I was growing quite tired of hearing the general public talk about how great Tebow is.  Truthfully, he is mediocre quarterback.  Still very much inexperienced (especially compared to University of Michigan Awesomeness graduate Hot Tom Brady), Tebow had a very LUCKY regular season.  Additionally, I'm happy Timbo loves the Lord.  Hell, I love the Lord.  However, there is a TIME and a PLACE to worship.  The football field is a field of battle; let us rejoice before or after.  Give it a little time, I'm sure Big Tim will be involved in some crazy sex scandal.

2.)  My grandmother, Mrs. Edna Mae Decker Garbon passed away this past Wednesday.  She was born on November 11, 1919.  Based on the numbers, Grandma lived a long and full life.  I was sad to see her pass however, I know she isn't suffering anymore.  Plus, in Heaven there is a wealth of all the things she loved to do:

Play cards

Drink Keystone Light

Suck on hard candy

Watch late night television

Read the newspaper

Do crossword puzzles

Garden and fiddle with her plants

Most importantly, Grandma will be joined by her siblings and my Grandpa Charlie.  A win-win for everybody.

3.)  Since my Gram died, Chris and I had to travel to Cincinnati for the festivities.  My mom was raised there and I have lots of memories from childhood in Cincy.  Skyline Chili, Kings Island, Sunlight Pool, riding on a skateboard down Gram and Grandpa Charlie's long and hilly driveway....  Other kids got to hit up Florida for Easter Break, the Mofo kids went to Cincinnati.

Nick Lachey and Sarah Jessica Parker hail from C-Town which automatically makes it cool.  PLUS, the Ohio accent is rad.  Try to imagine saying the word coney-- now add a long 'o' to that as well as a 'w' sound before the "ney" part.  There you go.

4.)  Last but not least I'm pregnant.  Yes sir.  10 weeks along.  I think baby Willis is the size of a prune today.  Compliments of wedding night, baby prune appears to be wreaking havoc on my uterine cavity.  Fulled borged with car sickness and many aversions to food, I'm ready for the 1st trimester to be over with.  The only things that make me feel better are listed below:

My dog's softie ears and her willingness to do snugglies at night time

Spaghetti-O's and meatballs

Peanut butter toast

Cocoa Puffs cereal

Wildberry Zinger decaf iced tea (made with our iced tea maker)

sweatpants

crispy winter air

Orange juice

Milk Duds

I was working with an awesome starting weight-- that number has been completely blown out thanks to my recent carb addiction.  Seriously, it's 2003 all over again.  I'm mind as well enroll in college because my diet sure reflects that of a freshman at Saint Joe.

News, in other news

Surfing crap on the web is my favorite thing to do upon just getting to the office.  US Magazine, People Magazine, Hollywood Online, Radar Online..... it is all magically filled with salacious junk about celebs.  Embarking on today's crap journey via the Internet, I stumbled across two words I haven't heard in some time (music to my ears)....... CASEY ANTHONY.  That's right.  Tot Mom.  Or, Child Killer as I like to call her.

Apparently she has released something similar to a video diary..... as if what she has to say is mildly important.  An example of something more important?  How about.... the size and color of your most recent peristolsis (poopies).  I, and I'm certain of many others, don't give two shits about Casey's view on the world.  She should remain in hiding til she is 100 years old; she doesn't deserve freedom of speech (she got that privelage taken away when she decided to be an accessory in the murder of her daughter).

Perhaps I should explain my view point:  I don't know who killed Caylee Anthony.  For a fact, the child's body was found in a nearby wooded area wrapped in duct tape and a blanket.  I was hoping for another trial trying Casey with murder.  We may never know how that poor little stinker died....  so sad.  So, I guess Casey is innocent until proven guilty.  In my mind she knows something about how her daughter died..... and thus, guilt by association.

That is all.

Detroit's Finest....... Faygo pop

I've been absent for some time.  Shame on me.  On to the next......

Christmas hath come and gone and I am sad.  Chris forced me to lock up and put away all the Christmas decor on the 29th.  What a bunch of shit.  Sidenote:  I am mildly relieved that all the lights, garland, pinecones and glitter accoutrements are out of site; Kasia's favorite mid-afternoon snack is ornaments mixed with toilet paper.

The outdoor magic is still displayed on the exterior.  It's been cold the past two days; too cold to get out there and take the stuff down.  Plus, Christmas lights look great with a fresh dusting of snow and since we haven't had much snow, I'm wishfully thinking the longer the lights stay up, the sooner the snow will come.

It's been a challenge to get back in the saddle with work.  The past two weeks I've completely slacked.  Our office was open last week Tuesday through Thursday.  I went 2 hours on Thursday.  Whoops.  I couldn't muster the strength to take off my sweatpants and get into the shower.

New Year's Eve was spent at Casa de Dell'Aquila (a.k.a Kathleen and Delly's house).  It was low key compared to last year.......  2011: a drunk and super fun night at Tailgators, listening to the soulful sounds of Infinity (a Journey cover band) and washing it down with cranberry and vodkas til 3 AM.

Kathleen and Delly have two cute little girls, ages 2 and 4.  Addison is the older one and weighs 28 pounds.  Payton is 2 and weighs 35 pounds.  Payton also looks like a baby ewok, so I call her Wicket.





Ewoks were very closely attached to their fuzzy children called woklings. An entire Ewok village fawned over newborn babies. They always gave the children much attention and they considered the care of their children a shared responsibility. Woklings had few rights and the children had to learn many rituals and legends that would serve as moral guides throughout their lives. When the Ewok came of age, he or she attended the Festival of Hoods. This festival marked the transition from wokling to Ewok.^[5]

^]

It is a total compliment to be nicknamed with an Ewok name.  Ewoks are obviously magical and live in tree forts (Bright Tree Village is the name of their community) on the forest moon of Endor. 

When I win the lottery, I am going to do as the Ewoks and build a sweet tree fort.  This fort will rest of the property of my 10,000 sq. ft. ski lodge in the mountains of Colorado (stashed away in the woods, but close to a ski resort).