Beau had ear tube surgery yesterday.  I don't know the scientific name however, its behind us now and we can officially focus on perhaps, a life less intoxicated with antibiotics and yeast infections.  My poor unicorn prince.  He literally hasn't had a break from ear infections since the summer.  We were seeing a dipshit pediatrician for a while and she wouldn't write us a referral for an ENT…..  so script after script we kept going back.  Finally, I lost it.  I realized that she wasn't even giving Beau a full exam-- so I wrote her off and found a new doctor.  Thank God for Dr. Pertola.

We arrived at Hinsdale Hospital yesterday morning at 5:30.  Shep was quickly registered, got a sticker and his little unicorn hospital gown and we were on our way.  7 o'clock the anesthesiologist came in and gave Beau a drink of a relaxing medication.  He became a little noodle--and giggled.  We were then wheeled down to the OR and the nurses took him away.  I didn't cry.  SHOCK.  I was gearing myself up for that moment and nailed it.

10 minutes later, he was in recovery, crying hysterically (typical response to anesthesia) and swaddled in some blankets.  Eventually he had his milkies, a hand full of Cheerios, got new underpants and a change of clothes….  Then we went home.  He took a 3 hour nap and awoke pretty much back to normal.

I pray that he will be void of ear bullshit.  PRAY.

Beau needs tubes in his ears.  A no-brainer since he has had 6 ear infections since July.  The shit-for-brains pediatrician we were seeing before refused to write a referral for an ENT, so we just stood by while she wrote script after script……  followed by another script for yeast diaper rash medicine.  SO fucking frustrating.  Apparently treating the cause and not the symptoms is out the window these days.  My mother's intuition kicked in and decided we would switch pediatricians.  Thank you Jesus.

The new doctor was fantastic.  She did a hearing test on the spot, which he failed, and wrote us a lovely referral.  Soooo, we saw the ENT today and she recommended tubes.  Finally.  Perfect timing being that Beau has a rash literally covering 1/4 of his body from his last round of antibiotics.  I'm almost in tears and fed up that its come to this point.  I'm this close to writing a letter to the old pediatrician and telling her to get fucked…..  and to advise to take a step back and actually "see" her patients rather than writing a script and having a 2 minute conversation.  I get that there is monotony in medicine however, each person is different.  Case by case you dumb whore.

Perhaps today is just a day that I need to take a step back….  I need a babysitter for 2 hours to collect myself and not punch someone in the face.  You know when that lump sits in your throat and you're on the verge of a nervous breakdown?  Thats me….. minus a margarita.

Beau has two new obsessions:  Mickey Mouse and poppycornies.  We watch Mickey Mouse Clubhouse everyday (cue picking up his toy Mickey Mouse) followed by a trip to the pantry for poppycornies.  Two things which I should avoid.  

Strangely, I like being opinionated.  People that don't have opinions or pretend they don't have opinions  piss me off.  Stand for something.  Use the voice God gave you.  Though my voice is "loud" literally and figuratively, I think I know when to keep the old lips pursed.  Example-- don't share your shit when you know you may offend someone UNLESS you want to start an argument.  #2  Don't open up your yap if you KNOW damn well it'll burn a bridge.  Sometimes it is best to shut thy trap and move on.

What do I get on my soapbox about, you ask?  Birth plans and how stupid they are, Rush Limbaugh and how he is a fucking bigot sexist pig drug addict, how gay marriage is not only acceptable but should be a God given right (like voting)…….  how people with animal cruelty charges should be punished in the same court of law as if they were harming a human…..  that about wraps it up.

Time.  Time is a messed up thing.  There is never enough of it...... or too much of it.  Some days CRAWL by (yesterday) while others whip by in a flash.  Time sometimes heals; time sometimes hurts. Its a bitch I tell ya.

While time continues to go by, nothing while everything changes.  Beau is growing, my belly continues to grow...... everyday is the same though.  Then, when you look back, things have changed without even realizing it.  Its like a bad episode/segment of Alice in Wonderland.

For those not tuned into "the book," we are having a girl in May.  Cray.  Never thought I'd be the mom of a daughter.  What do I do with her?  I hope she is free spirited and strong, polite, athletic, articulate, curious and doesn't believe everything she reads......  which is the perfect segway to a new pet peeve of mine.

People that believe everything they read/hear on the radio piss me off.  Haven't we learned enough from media that you can't believe everything?  Its like we are a society of suckers.  I know a few of these suckas--  it all starts with a "I heard the other day that Obama is a terrorist.  In fact, he doesn't have a birth certificate."  Really?!?  (in complete sarcastic tone) Our president doesn't have proof of birth and works for Al Quaeda.  Fact.  Come on people.  Another fact of hearsay:  "I heard that smoking is actually good for you."  Really.  Thats a good one.  Moron.

If I read something that is thought provoking, I always follow up with additional research.  Just out of curiosity... I want to know where such info stems from.  If only everyone were like this.

Now that the polar vortex is gone, I dont know how people live in frigid parts of the world.  Parts of northern Canada, Siberia, etc..... how do they stay warm?  What are their utility bills like?  Holy shit.  I literally didn't leave my house for 4 days.  It sucked.  Beau and I were sick of looking at one another.

And we are buried..... not really.  And of course..... our snowmobiles are in a million pieces.

Lots happening around here:

-drippy noses
-LOTS of laundry to fold
-snow to shovel
-a guest room that needs to be cleaned out


In other news, I'm trying to transition Beau from two naps to one.  Hard.  We do well until about 10-10:30, then the wheels blow off.  Chris' cousin told me that EVERYTHING with a kid is a phase.  So, as I want to punch myself in the face, I'm going to chant THIS IS ONLY A PHASE.  Until then, bedtime kinda sucks.  Normally he is up at 6, down at 9 (til about 10:30), then down again at 1:30 (until 3) and bedtime at 7-7:30.  Thats all out the window.

We find out today (during a snowstorm) the gender of the baby.  I'm super pumped and stumped.  I have no idea what it is; not one iota.

I'm getting really fed up with people (in general conversation amongst acquaintances) talking about Obamacare.  This falls into the "political" category and thus, off limits.  Don't people know its really bad manners to discuss this in mixed company.  I am not Emily Post.  I say fuck all the time however, I do know NOT to talk about politics and religion openly-- you never know who you may offend, etc.  So, take my message to heart.  Lock it up.