While its the end of July and fall being several weeks away.... we got a taste of some awesome autumn weather this past weekend.  Cool nights (needing a hoodie) and a campfire reminded me of how much I lerv the fall.  Every is pretty in the fall.  Fact.

Beau is on his first field trip with Grandma today.  He didnt even turn back to wave.  What's next?  College.  Jeez.  I must say, I have enjoyed being at home, ALONE, to clean and do laundry... without a puppy holding onto my pant leg.

Discuss Topic of the Day:
An eye for an eye?

http://www.thewillisclan.com/Home.html

The Willis Clan.  The jury is still out on this one.  The above is a link about The Willis Clan.  Now on the GAC channel, this family is composed of 12 children, all home schooled and well, good at everything(?).....

Here is a run down:

Dad Toby is a dictator.  Mom Brenda goes along with whatever Toby dictates.  With 12 children to boss around, ranging in age from 21 to 1, the Willis' apparently have a handle on Irish dancing, playing tons of musical instruments, athletics and singing.... to mention a few.  I'm confused.  Are they like the Duggars?  God help them if they are.

My thoughts on the Duggars are ..... from an outside perspective.... well, they seem sheltered.  Kids need to experience life and socialization with kids outside of their own faith.... kids of different ethnic backgrounds.... it does not appear as though the Duggars have access to that.  Sad.  Also, what if one of them doesn't want to wear long denim skirts and have long hair?  Do their parents say no?

Two words:  Amanda Bynes.  Three more words:  Hot fucking mess.  I'm so glad to read in the rag mags that her parents are trying to step in with a conservatorship.  Obviously she is going through something.  Any person knows that you're not suppose to roll up in court looking like you haven't slept in 4 months.... with a wig on.  Drugs?  Mental illness?  I hope she can get the help she needs before lighting a dog on fire (successfully).

Cold sore update:  Shit hurts.  Its so gross.  I can barely look at myself in the mirror.  My dad, as usual, hath saved the day by overnighting Acyvoclir (spelling?).  Hopefully by next week I'll be back to normal.

Beau has started taking a few steps here and there.  I can't believe he will be one year old in a few weeks.  August 16th.  I think I've been in a time-suck-continuum for the past 365 days.  (kinda like going to Target for one item and leaving with a $125 receipt)

Facebook Etiquette Tip #3

Dont air out your dirty laundry on Facebook.  Its Facebook.... everyone can read it.  And will.... then talk about it with everyone else.  If you're talking about an ex you're upset with.... airing it out won't help.  You'll regret it fo sho.

I had the pleasure of catching up with an old friend this morning.  Julie McKinnon Hutt Wade-- glad to hear things are well.  I warms my heart to know that we've been pals since 4th grade.  Plus, Julie taught me about Van Halen.  Life changer.

I survived my first weekend away sans Shep.  Chris and I were invited to a friend's cottage near Niles, MI.  Never one to pass up a tubing invitation, I scrambled to figure out the best babysitting arrangement for my little human puppy.  The best case scenario was to meet Carrie in Plymouth, IN (more or less half way between Fort Waybe and Niles) .... do the baby exchange and get on our way.

I cried for the first 15 minutes.  Holy shit.  Beau of course could not have cared less.  I guess he fell asleep in the car on the way back to Fort Wayne.  I knew he would be in the best hands, so I tried to push the tears aside and focus on greater things: beer and "lakin' it."  That we did.

I think Carrie, Dave and Greta managed with Beau shackin' up for the weekend.  I'm sure he opened EVERY cabinet and door on their first floor.  I'm sure he tried to rip off the dogs' toe nails a few times, too.  We managed to pick him up in one piece and very happy.

Annoying person encounter:  Shopping at ALDI yesterday, I hear a dad and toddler cruising through the aisles.  (I get that dialogue is important with a young person.  This duo defied the odds.)  The dad was going on and on about not touching anything and getting "milkie" and "yum yums".... the kid (before I saw him) I thought would've been 3 or so.  NO.  A 6 year old comes around the corner, baby talking and ANNOYING the shit out of me.  "Yum yums, Daddy?"  "Me no want yum yums."  FUCK already.  Shut up.  Get your yums yums and get the f out of here.  That kid will get his ass kicked in 1st grade.

I have a cold sore.  Yes.  An unsightly, disgusting eruption on my lip.  I was born getting them.  Every Monforton gets cold sores.  Its like, automatic, if you're a Mofo.  As a child, we have a stock pile of Zovirex ointment in our medicine cabinet.  Band-Aids, hydrocortisone, Tylenol and ZOVIREX.  Try explaining this to mean asshole girls in middle school-- right about the time when you learn about the HERP in Health class.  Great.

Mimi and the future cold-sore-getters

Greta is also plotting a scheme

I nabbed my sister's old Ironman Timex watch when I was last in Fort Wayne.  It has a fabric band and due to the fact that I haven't taken it off since pilfering it, the band smells like a hockey bag.  No good.  How do I get the stank out of it?  Lordy Jenkins it smells like shit.

If and when I get pregnant again, I am not posting it on Facebook.  Nothing until I am holding said baby in my arms.  I know its an exciting time (while preggers) but new moms don't really know what can happen while pregnant-- miscarriages, complications, etc.  Its best to leave medical conditions out.

This heat is killing me.  Its too hot to do anything outside.  I haven't run in a week.  20 minutes.... thats all I ask for.  Cardio doesn't count when you're chasing toddler.

Some moron at the splash pad today was telling me how high Woodridge taxes were.  I literally had to stop myself from laughing out loud.  She has no clue what high taxes are.  She is probably the same lady that doesn't pull her weeds or take her Christmas lights down (ever).  Newsflash lady-- the general cost of living is escalating.  Its called The Cost Of Living.  Don't blame Obama either.

Gay pride.  I'm out.

Let's rant, shall we?

Trayvon Martin.  I'm on the fence with this one.  My gut tells me that the Zimmerman fellow was looking for a scrap.  Why the fuck did he have a gun anyways?  Keep the glocks at home folks.  No need.  Fists are good enough if need be.  Bare knuckle defense.  Old school.

I'm kinda over Facebook.  I'm real sick of certain people's posts about what they did for their daily workout, what they ate for lunch/how they are sticking to their diet and the big one.....  the importance of breastfeeding.  Good God people.  Facebook is a SOCIAL site.  If you want to pontificate get a blog. :)  I almost forgot the piece de resistance .... politics.  Holy shit the politics.  I dont care about you wanting to bone Mitt Romney.  Actually.... I'm being hypocritical.  I always talk about gay rights.

I guess we need to circle back the wagons and talk about "owning your shit."  Accepting your flaws and fabulousness.  Owning your shit.  No one is perfect.  We all make mistakes..... just OWN the mistakes you've made.  Move on.  I know certain people that can't seem to figure out said mantra.  I'd like to slap 'em.

I'm biased however, I think my little unicorn prince of peace is magical.  I want to eat his arms, kankles, fat fingers and checkers everyday.  

Elisabeth Hasselbeck is leaving the The View.  Good fucking riddance.  She sucks.  Also, she has exercise anorexia.  I have no place for her in my tv life.  Sionara sweetheart.  Fox News will welcome you with open arms.  Her opinions are dumb, ignorant and don't belong on television = Fox News perfect fit.  Now, she and Rush Limbaugh, Glenn Beck and the rest of 'em can have a circle jerk.

I've been having this weird leg thing lately.  My right hip always bugs me however, recently if I'm driving for more than 15 minutes or laying ever so oddly, my leg feels like it starts to fall asleep.  Should I see a chiropractor?  So annoying.

All you aspiring Prefontaines out there.... this blog's for you:

I didn't start running until after college.  With the binge drinking (lie) behind me, I was challenged by my best friend Adrienne to run the Chicago Marathon.  Athletic my whole life but never a member of the cross country team, and never one to back down from a challenge, I said yes.

So I ran, as they said in "Forrest Gump."  I ran alot.  The summer leading up to the race sucked.  I was living in Indianapolis at the time and had 2 roommates that never turned down a night out.  So, faced with a running log that was miles long (no pun intended) and one roommate with a boat on Geist, I was definitely knee deep in decisions.  Do I do a long run or go on the boat and drink all day long?  I would set my alarm for 6-- run for 3 hours, then sit on a boat all day and drink beer.  Great way to rehydrate.

Needless to say I ran and finished the Chicago Marathon.  It was ass cold the whole day with a rain/snow mix at the start.  The best part of the run was cruising through Boys Town.  God I love the gays.  It was the only mile of music-filled positive cheering with dudes dressed as cowboys singing country songs.  Love.

My point is that if I can run, anyone can.  I started running again a few months back and my goal is always minutes not miles.  Put on the running shoes and just go.  Get out and sweat.  I promise you'll ALWAYS feel better after exercising.  Fact.  Maybe your muscles hurt but your mind will be more clear.  Promise.

Also, running is free for the most part.  There is no Crossfit initiation horseshit or a Lifetime $100/month fee.  A few bucks for shoes and perhaps an iPod and you're all set.  If you can't run than walk.

Maybe someday after logging all the miles I will have legs like Stacey Kiebler.  Doubt it.

Nothing new to report around here except maybe one thing..... since when are "mom-style" jean shorts cool?  Chris, Shep and I went to Ribfest on Saturday and was astounded by the amount of said fashions.  Knee deep in camel toes and ribs, I couldn't understand how something so unflattering could be adorned by every under-21 girl.  I'm not a fashionista however, I know not to wear anything that may result in a "CT."

Speaking of which, I accidentally shrunk my Crocs while washing them.  I guess I have to pitch them out.  (Chris is fist pumping)  THOUGH THEY SERVE A PURPOSE, I am often reminded how uncool Crocs are.  All things aside....  I like to throw on the ole Crocs to do some quick gardening, run up to the grocery store, etc.  PLUS, they are easy to clean-- just dont throw them in the washer.

New things with Beau:

-claps his hands
-"So Big" with his arms
-lots of pointing at things
-babbling all day long..... perhaps he will be a talker like his momma
-favorite activity is going towards Kasia's dog food dish (no me gusta)
-still eating everything/trying everything..... like his momma
-loves all things water: bathies, going to the water park
-getting up and standing on his own for a few seconds, cruising along furniture
-sleeping 12 hours at night and 2 naps during the day
-pushing around his "wheelchairs" a.k.a. push toys

He is also wearing 12-month clothes.  No more infant shit for this man child.  Also, his beauhawk is totally gone.  Gone.  Gone.  Baby girl you're gone (JT).  Taking the place of the 'hawk are baby curls over his ears and along the back.  I'd be happy with a slight mullet at this point..... like a playoff hockey player.