Commitment

Thanksgiving hath come and gone.  It was a bittersweet holiday this year.  With the passing of my grandmother (my father's mother), Clara Elizabeth Monforton, her funeral took place the Saturday of Thanksgiving.....  so turkey didn't taste as good.

For some, funerals are a source of closure.  Sidenote-- there is no such thing as closure.  This is fact.  For me, funerals sadly remind me of how much I will miss the one that has passed on.  My gram's funeral was no different.  I cried the whole time.  I cried for my dad.  I cried for my aunts and uncles.  I cried for my Pepe.  Moreover, I cried because I don't get to see my gram anymore.  Selfish, I know.

There was one beautiful thing about Saturday's service.  At the end of the service, a beautiful ray of sunshine bled through the stain glass of St. Paul's.  I know it was Gram.  She was probably looking down from Heaven, laughing at all of us sobbing idiots and drinking a tall Manhattan (with 2 cherries).

Looking forward, its officially Christmas time.  Holler bitches.  I love me some Hollerdays.  I already watched The Family Stone and have choreographed where Christmas lights will be going on our bushes out front.

Show me your choppers

Teething.  That's the name of the game.  After a few days of major drool, extreme fussiness and lackluster sleep, we have determined that Little Shep is teething.  Shit.  He is only 3 months old.  WTF.

Thank you Jesus for baby ibuprofen.  No thank you Jesus for baby ibuprofen's consistency.  Beau literally takes 15 minutes to swallow a tiny syringe of medicine.... or "yummies" as we call it.  Don't they make baby ibuprofen patches?  Like morphine patches?  I should invent that.  I'd be rich.

In other news, we are heading back to America's High Five.  A Wednesday through Sunday visit will give me ample time to catch up with my Mitten peeps (Guido and Calli to name a few).

J-O-B.  Thats the name of the game bitches.  Even though I'm working with a headhunter, my job search is coming up a big fat NILL.  Ziltch.  WTF.  Because I refuse to strip, nor would anyone want to see my hooters, finding a vocation is proving quite difficult.  Also, I already have a nanny for our kid.  Normally its the other way around--  No nanny, has job.

I had to drop off some baby clothes to a fellow Puma (Go Saint Joe!) in Oak Lawn, so my awesome MIL came over to babysit.  PS-- Pat is here once a week, which kicks ass.  Upon leaving Beau and walking out the door, he decides to TOTALLY give Pat the bidniss.  Crocodile tears and all.  Not only were my boobs starting to leak, but I found myself wanting to cry also.  My poor stinkerstank.  Turns out he just had to fart real loud.  A trashy little bugger he is.

Milestones.

Beau will be 3 months old tomorrow.  How time flies.

-Rolling over from back to stomach
-Loves to be held as he "stands" on your lap
-Sits comfortably in a Bumbo chair
-Weighs in at roughly 15 lbs
-Likes to do "baby sit-ups".....a.k.a. mommy/daddy holds his hands and he pulls himself up
-Quite the little babbler..... laughs hysterically
-Sleeps in crib since 2 days old (no sleeping in parent's room for this guy)

I'm already stressing about his college fund.  Hence WHY he will go to the Naval Academy and not pay a dime.  Go Midshipmen.

Day One of "Getting Beau to Nap So He Doesn't Fall Apart at 6pm."  It's 7:40 and thus, the day was a success.  Below is a breakdown of how shit went down:

6:15 PM Beau is falling apart.  Put to bed and asleep immediately.

Up throughout the night ever 2-3 hours.  What a load of crap.

6:15 AM Beaus is awake and ready to party.

Play time, feeding, diaper changing......

8 AM - 8:45 NAP

Adrienne and Ford-O come over for a day of recreational activities.

11:00 - 1:00 PM Beau naps as Adrienne and I walk to the library and back

Play time, feeding, diaper changing.....

2:30 - 5:00 Beau naps

6:45 - 7:30 Bath time and 6oz bottle of 3/4 breast milk and 1/4 formula

7:40 Beau is in bed sound asleep.

Please baby Jesus in Heaven, please let Shep sleep for several hours before waking up.  Mama doesn't like meltdowns.

Thank you Jesus.  Obama wins.  Success.  I was scared that Mitt would pull it off.  My biggest fear if Mr. Mittens would've won?  A very wealthy man in power.  How could he possibly empathize with the middle and lower classes in America?  Mitt's been rich (bitch) since birth.  Another note-- he only supported the LGBT community in a last ditch effort to get votes.  Bush league.

In other news, Kasia just got a bath.  The drain is now filled with dirty dog hair.... and lets not forget Kasia's "shake off" while exiting the shower.  Water everywhere.  Keep it classy poochie.

Beau is asleep in the swing because he was a little shit last night.  The kid opted to wake up every 3 hours, though VERY tired.  At 5 am, I brought him in bed with me in hopes he'd get comfy and participate in some shut eye.  Nope.  Wide awake at 6 AM.  Awesome.  So, after some nourish, clean underpants and play time, a much needed nap is taking place.

Kasia is asleep now, too.  I guess doggie baths are exhausting.

The world lost an incredible lady this morning.  My gram passed away after a bitter battle with illness.  Gram was one hell of chic and loved her manhattans.  I will miss her no nonsense advice and am sad that she won't get to see her great grandson grow up.  No worries though....  she leaves behind an incredible legacy and will never be forgotten.

Losing a loved one.... unfortunately.... reminds people of how precious life is.  In celebration of life, make sure you tell those around you how much you appreciate them.

Lots on the docket today to report.

Beau Decker got baptized two weeks ago.  It was awesome.  Chris and I had my father's dear friend (who is a Catholic deacon) Paul Muller perform the ceremony at Saint Joe's Chapel in Rensselaer, IN..... my alma mater.  Beau was surrounded by our immediate family who love him dearly.  I couldn't have imagined anything more special.  Brunch followed the next day at the William Tell Hotel for the Chicagoland peeps that couldn't make it to SJC.

I'm still job searching.  What a freaking bummer.  Talk about being discouraged.  I'm beginning to think that stripping is in my future..... as long as Polekatz offers a 401k and insurance.

My grandma continues to decline....  I'm absolutely heartbroken.  Cancer is such a son of a bitch.  The hardest part of this ordeal is seeing my father grieve for Gram.  She is still here however, declining every day.  I can't imagine what is must be like to know you will lose a parent.  Fortunately, Beau and Greta provide some comic relief for our sad family.

Greta.  Hmm.  How do you explain a hobbit to someone who has never seen one?  With her hilarious personality, Miss Gertie is quite the card.  I was with her last weekend.....   the pork o meter was totally going off the Richter.  GFP's hands is like a giant piece of Buffalo mozzarella shoved into a Ziploc bag, bulging out the sides.  Better yet, a vat of peanut butter smooshed into a sock.