Monday, July 22, 2013

I survived my first weekend away sans Shep.  Chris and I were invited to a friend's cottage near Niles, MI.  Never one to pass up a tubing invitation, I scrambled to figure out the best babysitting arrangement for my little human puppy.  The best case scenario was to meet Carrie in Plymouth, IN (more or less half way between Fort Waybe and Niles) .... do the baby exchange and get on our way.

I cried for the first 15 minutes.  Holy shit.  Beau of course could not have cared less.  I guess he fell asleep in the car on the way back to Fort Wayne.  I knew he would be in the best hands, so I tried to push the tears aside and focus on greater things: beer and "lakin' it."  That we did.

I think Carrie, Dave and Greta managed with Beau shackin' up for the weekend.  I'm sure he opened EVERY cabinet and door on their first floor.  I'm sure he tried to rip off the dogs' toe nails a few times, too.  We managed to pick him up in one piece and very happy.

Annoying person encounter:  Shopping at ALDI yesterday, I hear a dad and toddler cruising through the aisles.  (I get that dialogue is important with a young person.  This duo defied the odds.)  The dad was going on and on about not touching anything and getting "milkie" and "yum yums".... the kid (before I saw him) I thought would've been 3 or so.  NO.  A 6 year old comes around the corner, baby talking and ANNOYING the shit out of me.  "Yum yums, Daddy?"  "Me no want yum yums."  FUCK already.  Shut up.  Get your yums yums and get the f out of here.  That kid will get his ass kicked in 1st grade.

I have a cold sore.  Yes.  An unsightly, disgusting eruption on my lip.  I was born getting them.  Every Monforton gets cold sores.  Its like, automatic, if you're a Mofo.  As a child, we have a stock pile of Zovirex ointment in our medicine cabinet.  Band-Aids, hydrocortisone, Tylenol and ZOVIREX.  Try explaining this to mean asshole girls in middle school-- right about the time when you learn about the HERP in Health class.  Great.


Mimi and the future cold-sore-getters
Greta is also plotting a scheme

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