How is it that all this time has passed and it didn't even dawn on me to blog?  To my fan base: I am sorry.  I'm officially employed as a stay at home mom (again).  I am doing billing and bookkeeping for my father's business in the evenings, which works out perfectly for momming during the day. 

Summer is now workin' through August..... fall will be here before we know it.  Though I love hot days and swimming in the lake, we all know this girl lervs some sweater weather.  And no, I don't do pumpkin spice lattes (hot coffee cream only thanks).

Beau is officially 4 today.  Sounds cliché but I literally don't know where the time has gone.  Shep was just born.  I remember that whole day like it was yesterday, minus the C-section part......  40 weeks and 4 days to prepare for what would be my biggest blessing.  (cue tears)  Beau has grown into the sweetest little boy; never a day goes by without him walking up to me and telling me how much he loves me and that my ears are soft.  Beau loves cars, trucks, boats, planes = anything that moves.  He is absolutely FASCINATED by how things work and asks lots of questions.  I am making a prediction that Beau will either be an engineer of some sort or perhaps a carpenter like his dad.

Pictures to follow in the next few days.....

My soapbox is probably 8 ft x 8 ft today.  You can thank a big fat asshole down in Florida for that...... and a big fat asshole in NYC who is running for POTUS.

I was at our cottage this weekend and try to avoid the news, my cell phone and any other links to the outside world while there.  Sunday afternoon we were wrapping up things and got word from one of our friends that there had been a massive shooting in Orlando the night before.  Honestly, I didn't think anything of it except "I hope no babies died."

My alarm went off this morning and the first thing I did was check the news.  Yep.  Shooting.  Roughly 49 people massacred in an Orlando nightclub.  #holyshit  After reading more and listening to AM radio on the way to work, my blood had started boiling.

First its a hate crime.... then its an act of terrorism.... then its a gun control issue.  What the fuck.  How 'bout this.... now, this is just an IDEA:  First of all.... why do people need to buy semi-automatic weapons?  Secondly, purchasing a weapon should be as hard as getting a mortgage; its a huge responsibility and should be treated as such.  Lastly, people like Donald Trump spew hate and are further putting a divide in American culture.... further cycling anger, ignorance, bullshit.

I am not blaming the above for what happened in Orlando.  The dude that theFBI thinks is responsible for this latest act of absolute horribleness apparently was a troubled soul and claimed allegiance to the Islamic State.  Fantastic.  This dude also had prejudices against Jewish people, the gay community and Latinos.  

I'm going a million miles per hour on this huge topic.  I have gay friends.  I have straight friends.  I love all of my friends and respect them, hence why they are friends.  Beyond that, I deeply respect any person living the life they want to live, which is so hard to do in our culture.  

Hell, there are news articles about the state of Meg Ryan's face.  Really?  Who cares?  I mean yeah.... she has gone a little ape shit on the fillers and injectables.  She has aged; it happens.  Leave her alone.

The sickest part in my rant is that I am almost certain there will be another violent attack by some sick individual/group fueled by hate.

LOVE WINS

https://www.themiddlefingerproject.org/

Go to this site immediately.  You can thank me later.

Happy Wednesday.  Hump Day.  I woke up with a raging headache, not quite sure why, but I've successfully downed some ibuprofen and a large Dunk (with a shot of blueberry) and the headache is still gripping me...... WTF.  I'm going to give it 20 more minutes then I need to up the meds or get more coffee or both.

So the site above it amaze.  There are a handful of women out there that I can actually relate to.  I mean, for real relate to.  I'm so tired of reading blogs about moms.... working moms.... stay at home moms...... moms to dogs..... moms to cats..... whatever...... they're all fluffy and funny and have no swear words.  *If you don't swear there is something wrong with you.  FACT.

The world needs more Bethenny Frankels and less Fluffy Bullshit.  I'm 36 and work full time and have two toddlers.  I'm busy all the time.  I make like, no money and still have awkward convos with my husband about needing money to get my hair highlighted.  While trying to stay afloat and manage to still enjoy my short time on Earth, I want to lock arms with other chics that see life the way I do.

If any of you can recommend books, blogs, podcasts or whatever on the topics above, please share.

I spent 8 hours in the car (with my two toddlers) on Friday and 8 hours in the car yesterday.  I have a new found respect (or a new found confusion?) for parents that take on the challenge of road trips with little ones.  Why in God's name would you want to subject one another to lengthy spells in a car?  To save money on airfare?  Really.  Someone please enlighten me.  If Chris EVER proposed driving to Florida I am going to hit him in the face open-handed and walk away.  See you in FL baby, I'm flying.

A typical 4-hour drive turned into 8 when we mixed together a holiday weekend and LAME ASS construction on I-94.  Road repairs can suck the biggest, most diseased dick in the whole wide world.  Additionally, some people need to take a lesson in driving the left lane.  LEFT LANE = GOING BEYOND THE POSTED SPEED LIMIT, not under.  Beau and Casey behaved like baby unicorns in the manger while their mom sweared under her breath.

Despite the long drive, we finally made it to The Mitten and enjoyed the weekend.  My parents had a great time with their grandkids and the weather cooperated.  A win-win for everyone.

I turned my car on this morning and the song "Franklin's Tower" by the Grateful Dead was on.  In my book, that is the most obvious of signs that the weekend will be a good one.  

Memorial Day weekend is almost upon us.  I will be heading back to the Mitten (with hobbits in tow) to visit with my family.  My brother is in town from San Fran, so it will be the first time in months since all the of Mofo kids will be together.  Chris opted out of this trip to get some work done at our cottage in Wisconsin.

Whenever I head back *home I start daydreaming about what it would be like to live close to my parents.  I haven't live near my parents since I was in high school.  I'd love to just call my mom or dad and meet up for a quick dinner.....  I observe that many people take advantage of having their folks nearby.  Trust me, its a luxury to have ma or pa living in close proximity.

*Michigan will always be home for me.  I am Midwest through and through, starting with my LOVE for the four seasons, Vernors Ginger Ale and ALL things Detroit Red Wings.  Additionally, Michigan summers teach the appreciation of swimming in lakes, drinking Labatt Blue Light out of can and Bob Seger.*

 

It's 82 degrees outside and I'm stuck inside a cubicle.  Life could be worse-- Donald Trump could be our President.  Oh wait.  Donald Trump could actually become our POTUS.  F me.

Last weekend was spent at our cottage in Wisconsin.  There is something to be said about ditching the work week, clocking out, packing up the car and hitting the road for some r & r.  Fortunately, the weather totes cooperated and spent every single moment outside.  The kids had their first stab at a boat ride; Casey fell asleep within 10 minutes and Beau managed to stay awake for 25 minutes.  The sound of the engine and movement of the boat is the best remedy for overtired pup pups.  Additionally, life jackets are amazing headrests.

Note to self-- LATHER up on the sunscreen.  I had a mother fail and didn't get Beau's neck lubed up enough.  His magically soft perfect neck got a bit pink-- not good.  When I was young, there were HOURS spent in the sun (sun up to sun down) with little to no spf..... and would only get slightly pink.  Now, the sun is so much more intense.  (I'm that loser parent that CLOTHES their kids in long-sleeved swim shirts and hats, etc to keep their pristine skin from turning any color.)

With two skin cancer scares in the past two years, I've definitely tightened up my act in terms of sunscreen and being more cautious.  I don't go out in the sun without a hat/visor and sunglasses and spf on exposed skin.  I may look like a dork but when I'm turning 50, my skin will look better than some douche who goes tanning on the reg.

It's Monday which means everyone is going to bitch about being at work and how they're tired.  Well, I am tired but I'm not disappointed about being at work.  I actually like the people I work with, so that's a bonus.  I AM going to bitch about how bad my skin is lately.

Holy breakouts.  Who would've thought that being 36 meant still experiencing zits? WTF.  So, if anyone out there has an effective solution for combination dry skin with breakouts... I am all ears.  I'm always trying to read about new skincare products but its almost MORE confusing-- I don't have the time or money to invest in an outrageously expensive line with 8 different steps.  No thanks.

I stopped wearing my normal foundation (Maybelline Dewy & Smooth) for the time being to see if that would help with my chin eruption.  Did that help?  No.  Fuck.  I think I need to step up my game and enlist in some apple cider vinegar.  

Apparently, ACV helps tone skin and its what people have been using for a long time for dermis issues.  Plus, I try and drink a shot worth of the stuff every morning to calm my acid reflux.  Why not drink the stuff, then throw some on my face?

My little baby unicorn sparkle magic floofy stink is turning 2 on Sunday and I can't handle it.  Casey was just born.  Now, she is basically applying to college.  Her first year of life was basically a blur because I was chasing after her older brother.  Thank God I took tons of pics-- 

Flash forward to now:

Casey is SO her mother's daughter in that she is independent, strong willed, funny and loves dogs.  Additionally, she gives zero fucks about what other people think, and because of that I know I don't have to worry about people pushing her around.

Loving and Hating

Things I'm loving lately:

Chris Stapleton --  if you haven't heard his music yet, go to youtube.com immediately and check out his mix.  Holy stars.  This guy has a big future ahead of him.  Plus, he sounds like Travis Tritt and who doesn't LOVE TT?

LaCroix sparkling water.  I stopped drinking pop (Diet Coke was my crack) and this nectar of the Gods is a close second to sauvignon blanc.  With the perfect balance of flavor, zero calories, zero sodium and fizz..... LaCroix is the shizz over ice or with vodka added.

EBAY.  First of all, I love doing searches on Ebay.  You can literally find ANYTHING.  People sell the most random stuff.  I recently bought of pair of gently used Asics running shoes for $1 (retail is $115), plus $5 shipping.  Score.  Another sweet grab was a $5 pair of Sperry's, barely worn.  Tip-- wash everything before wearing.  I'm always on the look-out for Patagonia clothing and vintage ski jackets and vests.

Fairy gardens.  A lover of all things Pinterest, I have several boards that run the gamut from food to clothes to makeup to gardening.  I stumbled across fairy gardens when shopping at Hobby Lobby.  Who knew that teeny tiny colonies nestled into flower beds and at stumps of trees could be so awesome?  My kids don't really know about fairies -- Tinkerbell hasn't entered our home as of yet.  BUT, I know how great my son's imagination is and fairy gardening is a great outlet for make believe.  So now, I have a pretty ample Pinterest board for "Beau and Casey's Magic Garden."

Things I'm hating:

I don't really hate anything except for snakes.  I should rephrase by saying "Things I'm not liking at all lately."

People that mumble.  This is a HUGE pet peeve of mine.  I don't allow my children to mumble.  Ever.  Speak up and speak clearly for God's sake.  No one will EVER have your attention by talking like you have marbles in your mouth.

Dead fish handshakes.  This sort of parlays into the mention above.  Firm handshakes are solid as oak.  No business meeting will conclude with a series of dead fish handshakes.  The old limp wrist shit is no bueno.

Mother's Day has come and gone and you know what that means?!?!?!?  FLOWERS.  A-frickin'-men.  One of my favorite things to do is to hit up Home Depot (or any local flower nursery) and check out all the gorgeous blooming things.  Both of my grandmothers and mother have an amazing green thumb.  I must've inherited their love for all things gardening, because come May, I have to tear myself away from anything flower related.

When I turn in for the night, I open Pinterest and literally comb through the "Garden" section.  New ideas, splitting perennials, containter gardening..... you name it, its all so fun.  There is something so relaxing about gardening.  Its both instant gratification and a slow satisfaction to watch things grow, whether it be veggies or flowers (plus it doesn't involve a cell phone, gasoline or having to read directions).

The house we are currently in had a hot mess of a yard.  I dug out what I could and had a landscaping crew come and remove (almost) everything.  The following spring, something magical happened!  Columbine, spider wort, lillies, irises, hostas, peonies and ferns starting sprouting up.  Because I try to be thrifty, I managed to transplant everything into a bed where things could thrive.  I also hit up my friends to see if they could spare some perennials.  Now, things are starting to shape up (pictures to soon follow).

I'm going to try my hand at a second round of container gardening.  Last year I planted parsley (super easy).  This year, I'm full steam ahead for beets, rosemary, thyme, basil, lettuce and tomatoes.  I can't wait!

At work we are in the midst of our website being revamped, so I am swamped with discovery tasks.  Said work is taking up my blog time (LOL).

I'm back on the hunt for the following items:

-pore minimizing primer

-facial moisturizer for dry/combo/sensitive skin

-a crispy and citrusy fragrance for summer

Ted Cruz dropped out of the presidential race so I'm freaking out.  I hate Donald Trump, mostly because he is a biggoted cow, but also because it looks like he wears concealer (which freaks me out).