Two words:  Lindsay Lohan.  What a fucking train wreck.  Apparently she has a new reality show on the OWN Network…… until this moment I thought Oprah was a smart lady.  Cameras follow Lindsay around in New York City as she acts like herself and viewers wonder why she is famous.  Wait.  Why is she famous?  First of all, she is sober.  Sober = suckage.  She is the most defensive person in the whole world and clearly, entitled.  I'm already exhausted thinking about all of the work she needs to do in her life to make it better.

I'm officially an uncomfortable pregnant chic.  Baby Willis is all up in the right side of my ribcage.  Weird and not comfy at all.  She moves all day long, all night long.  I wonder if she'll be as active as my 19-month-old?

I need a margarita.

Both kiddies are sleeping (at least for this moment) and the laundry is going, so I can't do anything else but play on the computer :)  Please note, I'm still in my pjs, haven't brushed my teeth or washed my face and there are dishes in the sink.  Moving on.

Its a Colorado day here in Chicago.  The sun is shining and there isn't a cloud in the sky.  Yes.  Too bad our backyard is literally a lake of melted snow and dogshit.  Awesome.  Not even my U of M rain boots could help me clean up what is out there.  I'm thinking of calling one of those dog crap picker upper companies and having them do the initial few pickups.

We moved Beau into his new room this week.  Chris replaced the baseboards and painted-- Burnish Clay is the color.  The walls look like a beautiful shade of Destin, FL sand.  Taupey grey but not sad looking.  My MIL is making some valances for the room to dress it up a bit.  And no, he isn't in a big boy bed yet.  No way.  He isn't climbing out today, so he will remain in lock up til that happens.

Un-named baby girl Willis is in Beau's old room.  The walls are a grey green-- hard to describe-- with wood paneling on one wall.  To keep it rustic-y, I opted for a red gingham crib skirt and bumper, with white panels from Ikea with teeny tiny bugs with gingham accents.  Not too girly, not too lame…. nothing fancy.

Annnndddd to tie it all in a bow, "Crossroads" starring Brit Brit is on.  Yes.  Best acting EVER.

Yesterday was a horseshit day and I feel guilty for even mentioning it.  Many people are way worse off than me….  it was just a crummy day.  To top it all off, I whacked my forehead HARD on the car door.  NOT good.  I literally have an indentation on my head.  Literally.  Indent.  Bruise soon to follow.

I couldn't sleep last night, so to help myself nod off, I was thinking of "facts" in my life.  The facts of life.  Get it?

-Our garbage man always has a smile on his face and looks like Sammy Hagar's twin.  I would be smiling, too if I looked like The Red Rocker.

-True friends/old pals stay in your life forever.  This is a big one.  Just this week I spoke with an old friend (dating back to 6th grade) about mortgages and he reminded me how its awesome that I haven't changed a bit.  

-Free hand-me-downs kick ass.  Having kids, for those that don't have children, seem to magically have a grasp on this.  Its not expensive like buying a car….. but its expensive like buying a house.  It always needing upgrades.  As we welcome our second in spring, we got hooked up with a free crib from (DING DING) an old friend.  Love that.  No more of the horseshit garage sale sites on Facebook to buy used items (which are overpriced)…  our friends have come out in droves to offer their old items.  Love it.

-I will never like music that is popular on the radio.  Ever.  For whatever reason, I always go back to the same bands from the same era.  Sorry Miley or whoever the next tweaking whore is on MTV.  No me gusta.

Enough facts.

We took Beau to Toys R Us last night to get a birthday gift for our friend's son.  Holy shit.  Beau's eyes were WIDE open.  He had never seen such a sight.  TOYS everywhere.  I don't think he blinked.  He also was making panting noises.  I couldn't stop laughing.  Shep really like the bike department and the action figure aisle.  He also like the doll babies but Chris didn't like that.  I bet staff at that place watch kids walk outta there crying every day.  There was a family leaving and two of the kids got time outs for asking for something-- I guess thats the T'R'U rule-- don't ask for shit upon walking in.

Act 2, Dog Disaster:

I picked up Kasia yesterday afternoon from the vet.  Her surgery went well and only $900 later, she is on the mend AGAIN.  I now know the life does have some accuracy.  2 steps forward, 4 steps back.  Fact.  I'm being a bit melodramatic-- its just frustration mainly….  I feel bad that my dog had to go through this horseshit again.  Since canines can't talk and only express themselves through their ears and bike flags (tails), I feel extra sad for my little hairy unicorn.

For my Lenten promise I have given up Facebook.  I was checking my phone a bit too often-- so, I am taking a sabbatical from the page.  Not that I adhere to all the Catholic rules, and we all know there are lots, I do think giving up something once in a while are good for character.  Plus, I couldn't get to church last night.  I'm already a bad Catholic.

We put an offer in on a short sale yesterday.  Short sales can take several months to be approved by the bank-- so fingers crossed we get it.  The house is 3700 sq. ft and was dirt cheap.  We could flip that bad boy and make a nice profit.  Plus, Chris and I work very well together when it comes to home projects.

For those that don't know my Chris, he is very talented when it comes to visualizing what something could be and design.  Not to toot my own horn but, I too know my way around a design center.  I should've gotten my ASID (design certification).  So, this potential project will be a nice outlet for both of us to make a turd into a beautiful gem.

Anyone out there know what to do with old laptops?  We have two-- can they be refurbished?  Does Best Buy offer that service?  I hate to toss them.

I'd like to preface what I'm about to say with the fact that I am thankful.  I am thankful for my health, my family, my friends, my freedom, sports bras.  However, fuck today.

Everything is going great this morning.  I'm making breakfast, Shep is speaking in unicorn/ewok, its snowing…..great.  Kasia strolls into the kitchen dripping blood with a gaping hole in her shoulder.  WTF.

Sidenote:  Kasia had a tumor removed from her right shoulder two weeks ago at a vet in Minooka (40 minutes away).  Her stitches were taken out yesterday (40 minutes away) and I thought the rough patch was behind us.

Fast forward to this morning.  Gaping hole.  Blood.  WTF.  I quickly realized that the wound had completely reopened.  Holy hell.  I don't have time to drive all the way to Minooka?!?!  Enter: expensive Arboretum Animal Hospital.

$1200 dollars later, and another surgery, Kasia is now resting comfortably waiting for her momma to pick her up.  Crisis slightly averted.  Lesson taken away from this situation:  Dogs are expensive.  When people assume having a large breed canine is a walk in the financial park, you have my permission to kick them in the throat.

Can someone please explain to me how Twitter works?  I don't get it.  My sister said someone "tweeted" her.  What does that mean exactly?

Beau got his first dose of hair pro-duct this morning, compliments of Auntie Colie (aka Nicole our neighbor).  First, she wet Beau's weave with water then slapped on some manipulative shit that allowed his hair to reach new lengths.  It was awesome.  Plus, Beau was rocking' his Hooters hoodie…. so all together, he looked like a whitetrash pedophile who loves Whitesnake.  #ilovetawnie

I was told today that I have a big butt.  Well, no shit Sherlock.  Being pregnant and hating being pregnant (no offense), hearing those words hurt my feelings.  I may just end up with an eating disorder post birth.

I foolishly watched the latest episode of Keeping Up With the Dipshits last night.  What the hell was I thinking?  I forgot how much I dislike the way the Kardashians talk; like they're chewing they're faces. Kourtney is the worst at face chewing-- dipshits.

I'm going to take a page from my friend KKR and do a "Roses and Thorns" piece…… or Bret Michaels, whichever way you want to see it.

ROSES:

Chris and I went to Fort Wayne this weekend to see Carrie, Dave and my parents.  Beau and Greta love each other, so it was joyous to watch them interact and play.  Also, its nice having my folks back from Maui-- too bad they came back to a gazillion inches of snow and ice.  Sorry not sorry.

Kasia's cancer surgery went well.  Her mast cell tumor was completely removed (as well as the marginal area surrounding) and the lab results came back favorable.  So, for the next several days, she is rocking' a t-shirt to cover her many stitches (which run behind her right front leg and down into her armpit.  Poor unicorn.

The sun has been shining lately.  I call such days "Colorado Days."  Colorado Days make me miss my days in Crested Butte, when everything revolved around skiing, drinking Diet Coke, having fun and drinking copious amounts of Crested Butte Brewery's White Buffalo Ale. …. and listening to Wu Tang and Bob Seger.

Beau learned how to climb on top of Carrie and Dave's dining room table and do Riverdance.  (see Thorns)

An eBay find and shopping in Carrie's basement = all of the baby's room linens.  YES.  I was worried I was going to want to go and buy all new stuff.  No good when you're on a budget.  Her room will be a miss mash of white furniture, red gingham print and glittery bugs on her walls.  So excited.

Mason is growing like a weed and we love having him twice a week.  He has his mom's great smile and his dad's HUGE head and hands.  He smiles all the time and farts like a college kid.

THORNS:

The snow is starting to melt, revealing gross poopie snow.  Gross.  If I see grass, I better see my bulbs coming up and I know thats not happening for several weeks.

Week 28 of pregnancy = the pee hath arrived.  Its like I have a freakin' bladder infection.

We can't agree on a baby name.  Any suggestions that are non-strippery are welcome.

Beau learned how to climb on top of Carrie and Dave's dining table and do Riverdance.  For all you Irish dancing fans out there, Michael Flatley is a professional and Shep isn't.  It was cute for .0004 seconds, then not cute when he dumped out an entire can of pop in the midst of his jig.

Anxiety is beginning to rear its ugly head, when I thought I was rid of it a few years ago.  For my loyal readers, I've worked very hard at conquering my situational anxiety through therapy and at times, medication.  I pride myself on having learned proper and effective coping skills to deal with this gross thing-- I think being pregnant is causing it.  I wish I could put on my running shoes and a regular sized sports bra and go running.  Problem solved.  Not gonna happen now.  Until then, I'll just lay in bed at night and worry.

These boots are made for walking

and tackling "da"

I posted something on Facebook that Ive been stewing over.  It was something along the lines of "why can't I adopt the mantra of not give a shit…."  Why do I let other people affect how I feel.  I'm a bit jealous of those special people that literally, don't give a shit what others think.  Do they just turn it off? Or, do they really care but ACT extremely well?  The past few months I've been giving a shit too much and its affecting me and my general well-being.  I suppose this is my mother in me-- she has a bleeding heart; always thinking of others…. maybe too much.  Whereas my dad is good at keeping things black and white.  On or off;  no in between.

I respect how others view the world, even when they're wrong.  Haha.  I normally can keep an even keel and let them be ignorant.  Lately, I just can't keep my big mouth shut.  Is life better when you're ignorant?  Is it more blissful if you walk around with a fucking bag on your head and have no perspective?

On a funnier note, I've been craving candy at night time.  So weird.  I can pass on candy.  But something about the Valentine's Day Sweetarts sound sooo good.  You know-- the shiny ones?  I need to find some.  Now.

Here's something you've never heard me say:  I need to vent.  Topic of today's soapbox is privacy.

While I'm not a private person, I respect those that are.  Whether their motivation for privacy is well, privacy, or say….. to be spared of embarrassment/judgement…. I can dig that.  Not everyone wears their heart on their sleeve.  I do.  In gets me in trouble most times.  There is something to be said keeping things close to the vest/chest (however the saying goes).

Going along with this privacy parade…..  said people shouldn't be pushed.  If they want to share aspects of their life, let them in due time.  If their voice is silenced and can't speak for themselves, that doesn't mean its go time to open the flood gates.  I'm being vague and while I'd like to open the flood gates, I just want to hammer the point that everyone deserves dignity.  If they like their lives kept private, so be it.

http://www.createajoyfullife.com

If you haven't checked out the above blog, please do so.  My friend Katie from high school authors the awesomeness and well, she does a nice job and makes me laugh.

Its cold.  Again.  I'm so down with winter…. growing up in Michigan and living in both Vermont and Colorado in my 20's, I appreciate the seasons.  You will never find me complaining about how spring can't come soon enough, blah blah blah.  Snow is pretty and white and makes everything look new and fresh.  Plus, every snowflake is different.  Wrap your head around that.  The ONLY challenge to winter, aside from not flicking off asshole drivers that don't know how to drive in snow, is finding things to do inside for FREE with an 18-month-old.

1.)  Beau has mastered YouTube on my iPhone.  Great.  I hear the itsy bitsy spider on loop all day long.  ALL DAY.  Why can't he watch Sammy Hagar videos on YouTube?  I'll teach him that tomorrow.

2.)  We hit up the local library last week.  Shockingly, Beau didn't break anything.  He literally ran up and down the deserted aisles making pterodactyl noises and snacked on fruit snacks ("yummies").  Two hours flew by like the wind AND he was wiped in time for his nap.  Rad.

3.)  COSTCO.  a.k.a. The Snack Zone.  Love.  I need not go into details.

4.)  Having a handful of neighbor kids always willing to come to our house and play.  Kick ass.  Ranging in age from 15 months to 6, Beau has plenty of rolldawgs willing to come and chill at our house.  As long as I'm stocked on cheese sticks, juice boxes, yummies, poppycornies and pretzels, we are all good.  Plus, his little girlfriend Katelyn (aka "Kukla" which means darling in Greek) and Beau practice ewok speaking while on said visits.

I'm officially fat.  Huge.  I no longer look like I had too much casserole at Christmas.  Baby Willis moves all day long.  Very active…. maybe a future Olympian?  I'd love two kids that can master the downhill at Lillehammer or Chemonix.  I don't want to pay for said ski lessons however, able bodied individuals who can shred are well respected by most.

Kristy update:

If you haven't already, please google Kare4Kristy.  There is a giveforward.com page dedicated to her and all contributions are greatly appreciated.  She continues to make slow progress…..  I still have hope she will make a full recovery however, the road will be long.  Just as my friend KKR from createajoyfullife.com will write, life is precious.  Savor EVERY DAY with your loved ones and forgo the petty nonsense because it could change in a hot minute.

Beau had ear tube surgery yesterday.  I don't know the scientific name however, its behind us now and we can officially focus on perhaps, a life less intoxicated with antibiotics and yeast infections.  My poor unicorn prince.  He literally hasn't had a break from ear infections since the summer.  We were seeing a dipshit pediatrician for a while and she wouldn't write us a referral for an ENT…..  so script after script we kept going back.  Finally, I lost it.  I realized that she wasn't even giving Beau a full exam-- so I wrote her off and found a new doctor.  Thank God for Dr. Pertola.

We arrived at Hinsdale Hospital yesterday morning at 5:30.  Shep was quickly registered, got a sticker and his little unicorn hospital gown and we were on our way.  7 o'clock the anesthesiologist came in and gave Beau a drink of a relaxing medication.  He became a little noodle--and giggled.  We were then wheeled down to the OR and the nurses took him away.  I didn't cry.  SHOCK.  I was gearing myself up for that moment and nailed it.

10 minutes later, he was in recovery, crying hysterically (typical response to anesthesia) and swaddled in some blankets.  Eventually he had his milkies, a hand full of Cheerios, got new underpants and a change of clothes….  Then we went home.  He took a 3 hour nap and awoke pretty much back to normal.

I pray that he will be void of ear bullshit.  PRAY.