Nursing Bras

Why can't someone..... anyone...... design and sell, at a reasonable price, a good (supportive) nursing bra.  You'd think with women having kids and nursing for MANY years, there would be something available.  Sorry.  Had to gripe.

More to come.

Boogers and Blowouts

Beau's Stats:

10lbs 10oz.
22 inches long
Can wear 3 month onesies (boo)
Currently battling a cold (sounds congested) boo

Beau and I drove to Fort Wayne to pick up Aunt Kiki and cousin GFP, then headed up to Mom and Dad's house this past week.  We wanted to get home so Beau could meet his great grandparents.  Of course, Pepe and Gram loved seeing Beau and Greta.  Pepe kept using the word "solid" to describe Beau.  Love that.  Also, Greta displayed her kick ass snapping, clapping and stomping skills.  Pepe loved that shit, too.

My dad (also known as Pepe) and mom (Mimi) got a kick out of having their grand babies home.  Greta leaves a tornado of trash wherever she goes and Beau..... well, Beau doesn't leave anything but crop dusting behind (farts).  I wish we lived closer.

The way home was not delightful.  We dropped GFP and Kiki off and not 15 minutes later, Beau was screaming.  I swear, the kid hates his car seat.  So, I pulled over, fed him, changed him, had a melt down and EVENTUALLY got back on the road.  Now, I'm fearful to go anywhere with him.  NOT GOOD.  Granted, the kid has a cold right now, so I'm chalking his congestion up to not wanting to be in the car.

Above are Beau's first photos.  I'm still trying to figure out how to work our new iMac/using pictures.  So-- any readers out there that have a clue, PLEASE HELP.  I swear, I need to take a computer class.  I'm used to non-Macs.

Utters

I feel like a cow.  Literally.  My whole day circles around nursing Beau.  I've stopped wearing shirts and just rock a nursing bra.  Also, I've committed myself to the couch at least 5 hours a day.  Lazy?  Kinda.  It's just too much right now for me to plan outings-- I have a 2 hour window of time between Beau's meals.  By the time I get him in his Nascar seat, make myself presentable.... I've already burned 30 minutes....  well, more like 10 minutes.

Thank God for my MIL.  I know, you're sick of the shot-outs to my Mother In Law.  Really.... she kicks ass.  I was able to grocery shop and hit up the post office today.  Not to mention, she is crafting for Beau's 1-month head shot. (pieces of paper with numbers to symbolize how old he is) Today is his 1 month birfday.  "Go shorty.  It's your birfday."

To re-cap, below are a list of necessities that have saved me:

No-slip headbands
button front shirts
Larabars (made of fruit and nuts)
My extra large Tervis cup (with an IU logo)
Netflix
DVR'd episodes of all the Real Housewives
my iPhone

I am still not fitting into my pre-prego clothes.  I'm beginning to think my boobs will never shrink.  Gaining 60 lbs, 30 of which was gone within 2 weeks of Beau's birth....  I have a ways to go.

The Witching Hour

Last night has been the most difficult since becoming a mom.  Leading up to the evening hour, Beau was nothing less than delightful.  Chris' mom was over for most of the afternoon, holding and loving the baby.  Around 6-ish, Beau started to fuss.  Chris typically gives him one bottle a day, in the evening, so I figured baby was hungry for nourishment.  We tried a new bottle-- he drank all of it.  Burping several times, I thought Beau was fine.  Holy shit was I wrong.

From 7 until 11PM Beau screamed.  Not cried.  Screamed; as if I were trying to rip his arms off.  It was absolutely heart-wrenching.  I paced, I rocked him, I shooshed him..... everything.  Resorting to taking off all of Beau's clothes and holding him tight to my chest, he finally settled down.  When it was all done, Beau then ingested something to the likeness of a 12-pk of breast milk.  I think it was a culmination of being overtired and starving.  The only thing going through my head was the following:

Don't start crying
Is this colic?
I'm going to shoot myself if this continues

So, I praise you all moms out there that have survived a colicky baby.  The crying was awful.  I can deal with short bursts of luckiness-- but not several hours.

9/11

It is the 11th anniversary of September 11th (duh).  I can tell you exactly what I did that day and perhaps, will never forget what I did that day.  Isn't that strange?  Another weird thing?  Every year on 9/11, the weather is perfect.  Why is that?  Its almost like God saying "Since such a shitty thing happened in US history on this day, I'll give you some kickass weather.  No need to thank me.  This one is on the house."

My mother-in-law is here today.  Thank you Jesus for Pat.  I have been able to walk the dog, take the car in to get the wonky tire fixed, made a BLT, did 2 loads of laundry AND played on the computer.  I'm so lucky.  Also, Pat LERVS holding Beau.  So, I don't feel guilty with her help.

I've been contemplating running again.  Once I get the go ahead from the doctor (6 weeks post op), I may just strap on the old running shoes.  The only concern is my boobs.  Yes.  The boobs.  My utters.  They are super big right now.  NOT ideal for running, no matter the breast harness holding them in place.  I'll keep you posted.

The Jonas Brothers

Is it me or is Kevin Jonas hiding his gayness behind his beautiful wife?  I believe its called a mustache.  With all the couch time I'm putting in, I have recently invested in a new show on E! called "Married To Jonas....." or something along those lines.  Kevin Jonas, the oldest of the brothers Jonas, and his new wife Dani are documenting their lives (via New Jersey) in a reality show.  First of all, they are like, 12 years old.  Secondly, Kevin is most likely a lover of men and not women,  His poor wife must be hoodwinked by his Jonas awesomeness...... she and 30 million other teeny boppers.  Lastly, Dani's dad is named Bucky.  That is all.

Accomplishment of the day:  Walking baby and dog TOGETHER.  Never again.  Yes, the Bob stroller kicks ass.  What doesn't kick ass?  A 70 lb. shepherd mix pulling in the opposite direction.  More awesome?  Forgetting a poopy bag and watching Kasia dump a huge grumper by the swings of a playground.  I'm going straight to hell.

Also, I managed to do 2 loads of laundry, shower and load the dishwasher.  I'm fucking Superwoman.  Just kidding.  With all I did today, I'm sure tomorrow is going to be a big fat ZERO in the task completion department.

Beau is doing great.  When I fed him this morning I noticed he officially looked different.  My baby is growing and it breaks my heart.  No longer in NB clothes, 0-3 months is his new wardrobe.  To ensure a stylish look, I hit up Target this evening for 2 new "sleep and plays," i.e. pajamas.  Puppies seem to be popular for fall fashion, so puppies it is.

My neighbor Gloria came by today.  With a husband battling Stage 4 lung cancer and her elderly father solely dependent on her, Gloria has a full load.  It was nice to have a visit with her-- and Beau received lots of kisses.  When she left I could not help but think about my life and how thankful I am for my health.  More over, I am blessed with a healthy husband, baby and family.

Bears. Boom.

I had my first evening out since baby arrived.  Chris, Brent and I hit up the Eviva Block Party, a.k.a. a street festival.  Aside from the delicious cup of Sangria, there was a cover band playing all things 90s. The final song played was "Turn Back Time" by Cher.  Boom.

Surprisingly, I did not shed one tear in leaving Beau.  Our awesome neighbor Suzy (and 2 of her 4 offspring) babysat so I knew he'd be in great hands.  Also, Suzy is an advocate of cocktails when stressed, and did not turn a blind eye to my Bat signal and insisted I get out of the house.

Back to my mention of Cher.  Whatever happened to awesome music videos such as "Turn Back Time"?  Are recording artists "above" the idea of shooting a video on a battleship, complete with men in uniform while situated on a cannon?  Hows that for symbolism.  If I were a singer, you'd bet your bottom dollar I'd be all about retro music video styling..... complete with synthesizer montages (circa "St. Elmos Fire")

I know what you're thinking.....  How are you doing/adjusting to life as a new mom?  Well, viewers....  life is good.  I must admit, there are days that aren't so awesome.  Yesterday was one of those days.  This whole nursing thing is quite the commitment.  I feel like a giant utter.  Beau only loves me because I provide him with valuable nourishment.  Boo.  Well, even if its one-sided, I love Beau because he is cuter than a puppy and makes awesome noises.  My little Shep is a one-puppy litter that is very soft and smooshable.  I can't get enough of his sweet face and magical hair.

Words never spewed from my mouth-- I can't wait to go on a diet.  The ob recommended not "dieting" until week 6 of my c-section recovery.  Rather, I'd like to start really watching what I'm eating and exercising more vigorously.  Fortunately, I'm not super hungry (just REALLY thirsty), so the pregnancy weight has been slowly coming off.  No worries-- I'm not about to pull on my pre-prego jeans.  Suicide watch would be looming.

I'm baaaaacckkkk

I've been absent.  Sorry fellow readers.  It's just that I've been busy loving my newborn.  I'd like to welcome our son, Beau Decker Willis to the world.  Arriving on 8/16 at 12:07 AM, weighing in at 7 lbs. 10 oz., "Little Shep" decided to make his entrance a bit spicy.

I started having contractions on 8/15 around 3 in the morning....  they continued sporadically throughout the day; nothing too terrible.  By 4 PM that afternoon, the contractions were about 5 minutes apart.  Chris and I decided to head to the hospital.  Upon arrival, I was already at a 4.  Awesome.  Soon after being checked in (6 PM) I was well on my way......  this was great because I was scheduled to be induced the following day (and I didn't want to be induced).

Around 11 PM the doctor noticed Beau's heart rate declining during each contraction.  The last straw was a 5 minute long contraction (alongside a significant amount of bleeding) and Beau's heartbeat dropping and not rebounding.  A minute later I was being wheeled into the OR. 

Long story short, my placenta was tearing away (which caused the bleeding and stress with baby).  A c-section was the safest step to get Beau out.  So, welcome to the world little man.

BDW is adorable like a magical, soft unicorn in a toilet paper pasture.  I call him Little Shep because he makes puppy noises when he eats and its awesome.  Also, he is soft like a newborn puppy.  Below are the following things that I love about our bundle of creaminess:

Beau is soft
Beau has small hands and feet
Beau's underpants look like mini pot holders
Beau's clothes mostly have baby animals on them, which is awesome
Beau loves to be held (duh)
Beau has a very powerful lower GI and takes many dumps a day and farts really loud
Beau can roll over from stomach to back already

In other news.....

I watched some of the DNC last night.  Amazing.  Democrat or not, no American woman could NOT have been moved by words shared by FL, Michelle Obama.  Ass kicking and taking names, Miss Rad pulled it all together.  My favorite quote of the night?  "In Massachusetts, you can marry whomever you want."  Love it.  Suck it Mitt, you rich asshole.

Also, my life is now posting up on the couch and I couldn't be happier.  I can wear sweatpants everyday and an ugly nursing bra and not be judged.  Yes.  Victory.

I have been pregnant for 281 days.  That is one day too long.  Today I have my 40 week check-up and I am requesting the doctor to pull the ole plug.  I'm done.  No more preggers.  I can't sleep, baby's foot is lodged in my right side (hurting my ribs) and I'm SO sick of peeing every 5 minutes.  I'm done and done.  Done.  Finished.

Let us not forget how terrified I am for what comes next.  Induction?  Terrified.  As unnatural as this sounds, I have no desire to experience giving birth.  Zero.  What do I do?  Oh wait..... punch me in the face and wake me when its over.  There you go.  In fact, I don't think there is enough puppies to hold in the world that could make me want to give birth.  I just don't want to be pregnant anymore.  This is definitely a problem.

To all my readers out there-- if I contact you because I had baby, please DO NOT post anything on facebook.  Chris and I would like the opportunity to share our news with you-- not the other way around.  So, please.... be considerate.  Thanks.

I'm a bad blogger.  I haven't posted any pictures in weeks.  Sorry.  The laptop we have right now is SUPER slow and I don't have the patience to do what it takes to add pics to my posts.

Kasia is sitting under my feet as I type.  In fact, one of her SOFT ears is "in-betwixt" my toes.  It feels heavenly.  Speaking of heavenly, the neighbors continue to foster two little puppies.  Thankfully, they allow joint custody, so I get the pleasure of at least 30 minutes of ear rubbing and singing Amazing Grace to them.  Their names are Little and Magic and they are nothing short of either.  Magic looks like a little wolf and Little is a blonde Chihuahua-lookin' thing.  Both were brought the Chudzik household with respitory infections, so their road has been nothing short of bumpy.  Once again, because of my ear rubbing and serenading, I take full responsibility for making them healthy. 

You want to know how small and smooshy said creatures are?  Put it this way-- They are 7 weeks old, have puppy breath and weigh about 6 lbs.  Holy shit.  Cute alert times 67.  Also, I'd like to add that they sleep at the drop of a hat.  Anywhere.  Cute.  Amazeballs.

No baby yet.  39 weeks and 4 days.  Lord let this baby be born soon so I can get relief from having to pee every 4 minutes.  Let's not forget that I'm terrified to give birth.  However, not having to pee like I have a UTI would be great.  Also, Lord, let my water break so I know when to go to the hospital.  And let it not break when I'm at Target or some weird place.

Shut Your F'in Mouth

I'd like to dedicate this post to all the hard working moms out there that simply, do the best they can.  I'm not a mom yet however, I know how hard it can be just holding down a job and juggling every day life.  Relationships and stresses make for some burly obstacles-- then when you throw children into the mix..... well, life can get nothing-short-of hairy. 

Something that I am tasked with every day is to try and be THANKFUL for what I have.... not what I am without.  I am thankful for my family, my health, my friends, a roof over my head and food on the table every night.  Something as simple as clean drinking water is another thing I'm thankful for.  Health insurance-- another good one I'm thankful for.

Truth be told, sometimes life can throw you a hardball....  ya know.... a real frozen rope right to the nuts.  You have 2 choices:  deal with it or run away.  Those that choose to deal with life's ups and downs are the winners.  Those that choose to run away/not deal with the reality of life can go piss up a rope as far as I'm concerned.  No matter how shitty you have it, someone else has it WAY worse.

Additionally, I'd like to also make mention of people out there that have all the time in the world to criticize.  I'm a believer in helping others..... picking them up when they are down...... not pushing them over.  If you aren't a supporter of being a good samaritan, you should move elsewhere.... or go live off the grid. 

Moral to the story, you ask?  Try to walk in someone else's shoes.... or at least try and help them lace their shoes.  All else need not apply.